Fährt auf Skateboard

“Merry Christmas, Santa Claus travels on skateboard” is not nearly as funny as “Frohes Weihnachtsfest, Nikolaus fährt auf Skateboard” should be. This is a German postcard from 1987, as seen 8 months ago on the Luxembourg based auction site delcamp.net.

santa-sports

Santa’s Sports Affliction

Without the description from the seller, I would have assumed this was an 80’s era Christmas ornament with some extracurricular tchotchkes attached to it. However, the auction lists this 7″ tall Santa as dating from the early 90’s, and that it is in fact NOS from “St Nicholas Square” at Kohls. It seems a little suspect, with the soccer ball awkwardly attached to his armpit, and a plastic skateboard that looks familiar. He reminds me of those cartoons where an unfortunate rube swallows a magnet and starts attracting all kinds of metal objects. Only Santa knows for sure.

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Skate or Cry

It may be hard to imagine a scenario where Simpsons merchandise would still have hipster cred, but Gummi Venus has managed to pull it off. The Simpsons are heavily played out, but Gummi Venus has created some cool merch. The weird thing is, the entire business model is based on unlicensed products for a TV show that is still active and still has it’s own merchandise. Sure, the Gummy Venus stuff is better, but it would seem like only a matter of time before they get shut down. Anyway, here’s Maggie Simpson riding a skateboard. It’s by far not the best work of Gummy Venus, but it passes.

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Skateboarding Mikey at Walmart

I was actually looking for some budget Vision completes (popsicles) that have the Gator graphic but just say “Vision.”  I have been told those have been seen in some Walmarts, but I couldn’t find any. Stay classy, Vision. The LED TV’s on display had a  continuous loop of snowboarding playing, interspersed with last minute gift ideas like this RC Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle on a skateboard.

Tristan Hodges Glass

I don’t get stoner culture, especially the way some participants are so into the idea of pot, and all the paraphernalia that surrounds the use of it. I suppose it can be likened in some aspects to people who enjoy a good craft beer or making their own home-brew. What I do get, is the amount of talent Tristan Hodges has for blowing glass. If I’m ever in the market for an exquisitely made glass pipe in the form factor of a skateboard, I know exactly where to go. And now, so do you.

Skateboard Stomp

Bart Simpson skateboard sightings are a dime a dozen. The best part about this ticket-spewing, foot-operated version of the classic electronic game Simon is the supporting Simpsons cast members on skateboards. Milhouse and Martin are flailing as can be expected, but check out Nelson’s confident, tuck-knee style. Current bid is only $100, but that 300lb shipping weight is a buzzkill.

– Thanks to Josh at Beach Party Attitude for the tip.

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Air Borne Freeskate on Ice

The Air Borne Freeskate was born in 1984 as a cheaper alternative to sailing in ice boats.  The reason this is on Skate and Annoy is because it appears that early models of the Freeskate may have been outfit with Indy  216’s. The sport is still going these days, but they don’t use skateboard trucks in commercial rigs anymore, although some DIY types have built there own using those extended mountain board trucks with the springs. I’ve seen videos of later model Freeskates that no longer used skateboard trucks as well.  This model is not a fluke however, as there appear to be several out there with this truck setup.  It’s kind of hard to find information about this board, as google turns up a lot of ice skating links. There are various groups that were at one time devoted to it, but most of the links seem to be defunct. These photos come from a guy asking $350 for his set up on Craigslist, Cape Cod. I pulled the date of the invention of the Freeskate from a February 12, 1984 New York Times article that unfortunately does not include archived photos. Freeskate appears to have become an all encompassing name for similar devices, in the same way that Rollerblades became synonymous with inline skating.

– Thanks to Paul F for the tip.

Related: History and Modern Ice Boards

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Syck Trix

Like broken glass in the sea, a lot of my sharp edges have been worn down under continuous onslaught. Times have changed, and I no longer burst into laughter when I see things like this skate trainer / ollie trainer called Syck Trix. It’s basically a skateboard with two air bladders replacing the trucks. It’s primarily geared towards little kids and possibly even old men. Syck Trix looks like it came onto market around 2014. It’s really easy to dismiss and ridicule these types of devices, because after all, what better way to learn than actually doing it on a real skateboard? The concept of skateboard training may be foreign to the majority of skaters, but now that parents and kids are seeing guys like Ryan Scheckler, that flying tomato guy, and even Tony Hawk, making a living, many parents and skateboarders are going to find value in something like this. Who can judge the quality of fun that a little kid is having because he used a training device to progress faster than he normally would have?

– Thanks to Boy Ipoh at SkateMalaysia.com for the tip.

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Holiday Bones Handstand

Coincidentally, this is from the Hanes Big Boys’ Ugly Christmas Sweatshirt collection, but there’s obviously no relation to the seminal skate rock band. The sweatshirt shown here is called Holiday Bones, and is the only one with a skateboard in it. Looking at the bones in the hands, this looks like it might have been a fingerflip handstand attempt.

– Thanks to Mrs Kilwag for the tip.

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