Chunky Jumper


After inspecting the insides, it appears this knitting pattern from Marriner is for chunky yarn, and not chunky kids. It’s pretty awful, and the best/worst part is that they think someone might actually want kneepads and elbow pads knitted out of yarn! Believe it or not, this is the third post about knitting.

– Thanks to BPA for the tip.

There’s little information out there on R.V. Marriner, so they don’t appear to be around anymore. It was associated with the Knowle Mill in West Yorkshire, which was built in 1906, and while the building is still there, I’m not sure they are in business either. There is no copyright date. Judging by the skateboards and wonderful fashion sense, this pattern was made in the mid to late 70’s.

Awesome looking kid on the right, but why no knitted helmet?


That’s bad. I’ve seen better graphics on a TRS-80. I’m not sure, but I think that might be Skeletor.




Yes, the pattern contains plans for pads too!


Let’s get a closeup of the safety equipment.


You should wear these pads to protect you while skating, however, you must be very, very careful about how you wash them, because they’re delicate.



  1. Holy crap. That is hilarious, made my day. I have never seen a helmet with a chin strap quite like that…

  2. tallboycan on October 10, 2014 - Reply

    Oh my God the yarn kneepads are the best thing I’ve seen in a while. Beyond hilarious.

    I think people who knit think everyone wants everything made out of yarn…

  3. talentlessquitter on October 11, 2014 - Reply

    At least Wendy has proper kneepads!

  4. According to the instructions, you gotta have 40-gram balls to wear those knitted elbow pads. The kneepads require three 40-gram balls! Extra-testicular!

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