It’s been couple of years since I last posted about AI slop generated skateboards, but recently my timeline has been hammered with ads from a bullshit company selling so-called skate shoes, and using AI generated product and lifestyle photos. It’s so very bad, almost as bad as trying to pass off corduroy slippers as viable skate shoes. I threw in a couple of less elaborate (and less offensive) examples as well. I’m not going to link to these brands because eff them.

I’ve had this alarm clock since I was in high school. Took it to college and beyond. It’s final resting place was in a box in my basement, destined to go to Good Will until my son spotted it. Now it’s in his apartment, and it sounds exactly how you think it does. The stickers range from 80’s to early 90’s.

This is Archie’s Pal Jughead, Volume 2 #61, published in October of 1994. It’s got a one page story called Wheel Speil that has skateboarding as the main gag despite being mostly arm candy. Wheel Spiel is used as a title in at least two other comic books (Reggies Wise Guy Jokes #47 – 1978, Archie and Me #148 – 1988) in the Archie universe, and none of the stories are the same. There’s also a sales club ad with a chance to earn a Nash Beach Bum skateboard.

As a skateboard toy, it’s not that exciting, However these Sega Pocket Power toys from the late 80’s and early 90s regularly go for $50 or more when out of the packaging. When in the packaging, it’s usually 3 times that much. The idea is that they are supposed to store flat and fit in your, yeah, you guessed it, time machines pocket. I’m not sure why the wheels are so small in scale compared to the rest of the board. Maybe they were worried about the pull-cord mechanism. The packaging says Tyco, but the bottom the toy says Sega.

These are BEit Dude Skaters as seen on Fab.com back in 2011 when it was still a place to buy… tchotchkes? Cool stuff? I don’t remember. Now that domain is owned by Epic Games and it appears to be some sort of marketplace for 3D models. “Packaged in a custom BEit Dude box.” Ahhhh… BEit Dudes. So very 2010s… Now where did I misplace my NFTs, and why did I save this?

These images are from an absolutely horrible store on Etsy that makes crappy, probably AI designs based on the word Punk. Normally I’d link to the perpetrators, but this stuff is so very bad and exploitive that I don’t want to accidentally drive any traffic their way. Garbage… Pure and utter garbage. The Terminator can’t come soon enough.

Red Bull Skateboarding and Danny Leon on 50-50 grind along the crossbar of a goal. Looks like it may be at the Athletico Madrid stadium because they do currently have a sponsorship deal with Athletico Madrid, as does “Visit Rwanda,” and you can see La Liga sings in some of the shots. Still, I haven’t been able to spot the cut out entrance behind the goal is static photos of the stadium, which may be old anyway. Red Bull does own 4 other teams in 3 different countries. You’d think they’d use one of their own stadiums, or at least make Atletico Madrid a main character in the shots. So technically not shot at any of the Red Bull FC stadiums, but I like the headline so I’m leaving it.

We jokingly predicted it over a decade ago. As it usually happens, I go looking for one thing and find another. What’s the going rate for worn out decks meant to be up cycled into jewelry, furniture, assorted appliance handles, phone cases and the like? Apparently it’s $19-$33 a deck, depending on where you shop on Etsy. At this price point it’s cheaper to buy crappy Chinese blanks and skip the part where they get skated. Of course, that skirts the whole saving the environment bit…

I added a category for Department Store Catalogs to the Skate and Annoy galleries. Right now there’s only 10 catalogs spanning 19964-1966. The biggest reason is my OCD I took it upon myself to also add images of the skateboards found in those ads, which turned out to be quite time consuming. I plan on continuing this through the 70’s, but as soon as they get impossible to identify I’ll probably stop adding the real life photos. Check out Department Store Catalogs.

Rockstar Energy Drink wis in town last week for a free contest at the riverfront in Portland. I’ve been to that before, it’s free, fun, and everyone rips. I didn’t make it this year, but GVK was going to apply for media credentials again. I’m not sure if he made it either. For some reason, (OK everyone knows the reason, marketing and money…) Rockstar (via Powell skater Christopher Heitt) went to a Portland Timbers match. You can watch the whole thing without snarky commentary on Instagram, but since you’re already here, just remember that Skate and Annoy is your premier site for MLS crossover action!