Last year’s promo must have been a hit, becasue they upped it from the first 2000 to the first 5000 fans in the park who got a free Portland Timbers skateboard. I have to tell you I thought our mayor was a bit looney pushing for a major league soccer team in our town. I hold soccer in about as much entertainment esteem as the Onion does, and I figured it would flop, but boy was I wrong. Games are regularly sold out and the fans are rabid. I heard last year’s board was not really the same size as an actual skateboard, more like a toy hand board. I’m still a little bit confused by this cross promotion. Makes about as much sense as a skateboarder printed on a frisbee, or Air Grip brand flying disk as it were. But damn it all if I don’t want to jump on the bandwagon and go see a game, cause I do. Update: Well this post is pretty funny in retrospect, as 5 years later I am now a huge Timbers nerd. So much so that I actually travelled to Columbus Ohio to watch them win the MLS Cup. [Photo: Portland…

So what we have here is s little bit more than meets the eye. It’s not a Simpsons promotional item, but rather a generic workplace safety poster featuring licensed Simpsons characters. – Thanks to House of Neil for the photo.

In 1991 there was an animated series based on a spinoff novel from Ian Flemming’s James Bond series. I just watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for the first time in… decades, and I was suprised to learn that it was also based on an Ian Flemming novel and produced by Albert R. Broccoli, the guy who did all the early James Bond movies. Ian didn’t write the James Bond Jr book, so he can’t really be blamed for the atrocity that is the James Bond Jr cartoon. They made over 60 episodes, but apparently the toy line was more popular than the actual series. What you see here is the Gordo Leiter figure, complete with weaponized skateboard. Turns out there were two episodes that featured skateboarding. [Sources: Wikipedia and James Bond Jr Online]

Well it’s an idea we’ve seen before, so why no build a whole brand around it? Here’s a video of the Pornstar Skateboards “factory” which you have to swallow with a grain of salt. Anyone recognize the actual factory? Watch as actress Sarah Jesse causes an awkward moment for a hapless worker who just wants her to be comfortable. Do you need a date? Sarah is available (NSFW!!) to help you “relax, unwind, and experience a range of ‘sensual delights'”. Business must be slow at Pornstar. The web site is a little bit like a ghost town. – Thanks to Quartersnacks for the tip.

I missed this one, got outbid early on and literally missed bidding again by one second. For your consideration we have listed a box of 60 original skateboard necklaces. These were a canadian product from 1976. You are buying and original display box with 60 individually packaged skateboard necklaces. New old stock from 35 years ago. A nice retro find. I have no idea what the actual necklaces look like, but the packaging is the best. I live for this kind of thing. Hang one?

Some people are obsessed with skateboards, others with making 8 bit pixel art in the style of old video game perspective. Head on over to eBoy for an odd little assortment.

Santa Cruz has to be the king of novelty products, with all the giant foot-shaped boards, screaming hand oven mitts and the like. Now they’re adding some mostly brilliant executions of Simpsons themed skateboards. Bart’s board is great, the Roskop parody and Duff liquor store cruisers are pretty good too, but the Homer Simpson board is weak. To offset that they’ve included a Duff static wrap can cover, which they ought to sell singularly. Overall, though, an awesome idea, if only they had thought of it 15 years ago. Bart Simpson has to be the most popular cartoon character to be featured with a skateboard in it’s original context as well as with merchandising. It’s about time he got a real board.

It’s summertime, summertime. I’m gonna head to the beach and do some beachy things. I spotted this on an ice cream truck while plying my kids with cold sugar on a stick after one of those music in the park deals. Actually the band was pretty interesting. An all female sax quartet called the Quadraphones. More jazz and less funk than I’d like but still solid. The frozen confectionary comes in a cup, but unfortunately the packaging doesn’t have the skateboarding character. The gal in the truck wouldn’t let me buy the window sticker either. Now who gets the noprize?

Since I can’t afford or seem to get the hang of buying old skateboards on eBay, I’ve taken to collecting skatesploitation records instead. It seems like there is handful of the same records that are well circulated. Sometimes they go for $50, but you can pick them up for $10-$15 if you are patient. So I don’t get too bummed if I don’t win an auction. The first time I saw this record I thought I’d be able to pick it up for a few bucks plus postage, but I was shocked when it went for over $100 in the last 24 hours. I thought it was a fluke until I lost another auction to a seemingly ridiculous high bid. There must be cutthroat market out there for really obscure funk bands. Here’s another listing of this record, this time with an opening bid of $89. I’ve seen it on record collecting sites for as high as $258! It sounds very 70’s but the popular consensus is that is was released in 1980 or 81. Well fortunately for my wallet, you can download the mp3. In the mean time I’ll be lurking around the Goodwills looking for stray copies of…

On the plus side, a portion of the the sales go to Girl Riders Organization, but the flips side of this new web series is that it’s horribly paired with new “technology” that allows you click on an object in the video if you’re interested in buying it. I tried clicking on the fiance, but apparently she’s not for sale. It’s hard to take the episode seriously when so many of the shots seem awkwardly contrived for displaying a product. So much so that it seems less than… above the board. Kyle’s got some moves though, so there’s that. Check out Above Board.