crime

It’s all fun and games until someone is a dick

From the San Jose Mercury News

The five suspects, who are ages 18 to 22, burst into the store on their skateboards and began to ride around in the aisles, according to police… …”They did it for the thrill of it,” Pleasanton police Sgt. Jim Knox said. “They were trying to videotape themselves.”

OK, so you’re trying to make your own Jackass tapes. That’s fine, just don’t beat up the store manager when he asks you to leave.

That’s when one of the suspects, who police believe is a juvenile, walked up to the manager, picked up his skateboard and struck the manager in the face with it. The manager suffered minor injuries that included cuts and bruises to his face, wrist and hand.

Now you are officially a dick, and not a very bright one, since they managed to get your buddy’s license plate as you drove away. More skateboarding dicks after the jump. Photos (Unrelated and with no editorial comment intended) are from Rebel Skates, although seems like I’ve seen the slogan on the left shirt somewhere, sometime… Oh yeah, Cow Skates in the 80’s.

All skateboarders are cool. Excpet for the ones that aren’t.

Juvenile Arrested After Using Skateboard In Attack
CBS 5 – San Francisco,CA,USA
A 16-year-old Petaluma boy was arrested Tuesday on assault charges after he struck another boy over the head with skateboard.

After-hours use, fights close Arab skateboard park
Huntsville Times – Huntsville,AL,USA
“It’s temporary,” Mayor Frank Lee Cox told the City Council Monday night, “but we’ve got a problem over there and it’s almost out of control.” …

Great job. Close the park and punish the people who aren’t breaking the rules or causing problems.

Thieves target skate shops
Meridian Booster – Lloydminster,Alberta,Canada
Fashion seems to be the motive behind recent break-ins targeted at local shops selling skateboards, and skateboarding clothing and apparel.

Function before fashion!

Skateboarding Fight Video
Two skateboarders start fighting inside the pool at a skatepark.
Dumbshit monkeys..

Skateboard To The Head
A brutal fight where one guy gets smashed in the face with a skateboard.
More apes.

Man reports being robbed at car wash
Seattle Times – Seattle,WA,USA
The victim said the robbers left in a newer-model brown Chevrolet Impala with shiny rims, or wheels, and with a sticker in a window that read “Skateboarding is not a crime.”

Skateboard hooligans
Chard & Ilminster News – Chard,Somerset,UK
They believe a skateboard was used to smash five wing mirrors on cars parked in Victoria Avenue between 11.15-11.45pm on Friday night. …

OK, I’ve engaged in pointless vandalism when I was younger, but do as I say and not as I do!

Alleged Harassment Nets Skateboarders Citations
Signal – Santa Clarita,CA,USA
Sheriff’s officials recently issued trespassing citations to two local teens for allegedly harassing customers in front of a McDonald’s restaurant and illegally skateboarding in a Valencia shopping center.

Hey geniuses! What’s the fastest way to getting busted in a no skateboarding zone? Start harassing customers in front of the establishment. Dumbasses

Police Investigate 2 Skateboard Beatings
News4Jax.com – Jacksonville,FL,USA
Police are looking into two strikingly similar attacks on two teens who said they are the victims of vicious skateboard beatings.

Hey assholes! Get a job and buy your own skateboards instead of ganging up kids and beating them out of theirs. Scumbags.

Nine guilty in Halloween attack
Long Beach Press-Telegram – Long Beach,CA,USA
Capping an emotional and polarizing trial, a Long Beach judge on Friday found nine black youths responsible for the beating of three white women during a Halloween melee in Bixby Knolls. …Witnesses told police the culprits clothing was consistent with that worn by Baby Insane Crips gang members, police and the district attorney said.

Gangs are so cool, where else can a bunch guys aged 19-21 meet other like minded individuals who enjoy unprovoked and racially motivated skateboard beatings on girls?

Police: Man Uses Skateboard To Smash Windows
KGTV, 10News.com – San Diego,CA,USA
A 28-year-old Encinitas man was taken into custody Saturday on suspicion of smashing vehicle windows with a skateboard, authorities said.

What we have here is a failure to communicate. Schizophrenia, the other hilarious mental disorder.

Skateboard found near van may lead to possible suspect in rash of vehicle burglaries in Sebastian
TCPalm, Sebastian, Fl, USA.
A skateboard with a lime-green bottom depicting a blonde bearded viking and the words “Sector 9 Deep End” was found Monday in the grass near one of the burglaries, and police are working to identify the owner…
…The man didn’t notice anything else missing, but he did tell police he had accidentally left the vehicle unlocked overnight. He said he did not know any children in his neighborhood who owned a skateboard.

I just liked the description of the board they found, and the fact that the victim assumes the thief was a child since they rode a skateboard.

Discussion

24 thoughts on “It’s all fun and games until someone is a dick

  1. yep, there will always be dumbasses.

  2. enemy combatant on December 18, 2007 - Reply

    Nice tits.

  3. I was thinking the crime shirt would be more appropriate in youth sizes.

  4. Dick Cancer on December 18, 2007 - Reply

    enemy you beat me to it…Nice rack, Nice set of twins, sweet pair of puppies, chi chi’s, I could lick those little titties through and through. Hey, I’m a fun Dick.

  5. jakeandannoy on December 18, 2007 - Reply

    “After-hours use,fights close Arab(?) skateboard park”
    -Huntsville Times

    That has to be a typo, what a sense of irony, being the story was out of “Huntsville”,AL.
    There’s like 2 Arabs now, total, in that entire state.

    I’m sure Alabama is a fine state & all, but I find it hard to believe they would give Arabs or skateboarders anything other than a savage beating for walking down the street.
    What would an “Arab skateboard park” look like anyway? Street plaza with oil rigs?
    Prob wouldnt have Tigard’s “rule #3″….

  6. If you’re not with me, you’re against me! I’m not sure if the above comment would be a political faux pas, but Arab is the name of a town/city/dwelling in Alabama.

  7. And yes, they probably pronounce it A-RAHB.

  8. jakeandannoy on December 18, 2007 - Reply

    Lol,You gotta be kidding me, Paige.
    Then they really have no sense of irony in AL.
    Political faux pas? Perhaps.
    Geographical? Definitely. I guess Im dumber than a 5th grader-err I mean, not as smart.

  9. jakeandannoy on December 18, 2007 - Reply

    “Faux pas” is such a snobby phrase. Or french. Or gay and french. If you pronounce it as it appears in print, it sounds like “fox paws”. And who the hell wants to screw around with some dirty fox paws? Exactly.
    expect Kristen and Keran

  10. (related to unrelated) – i had that cowskates outlaw shirt. the weird thing is that i used to lurk and skate the mini ramp at cowskates in ’91 and ’92, but i found the shirt at a goodwill in eugene in ’98 or ’99. i wore it until it fell apart.

  11. whoops. edit. i meant to write i used to lurk and skate at surf ohio, not cowskates. basically the same thing.

  12. Exactly why I chose to include that reference, on the off chance someone reading would remember Cow Skates and Surf Ohio…

  13. new avatars yay.

    i would impale those water jugs with the vengeful force of an angry god.

  14. …i want to arrest her.

  15. I think that’s Smay’s wife.

  16. That’s no lady! It’s Smay’s wife!

  17. How guys are able to tell who someone is by a picture of the midsection is totally beyond me.

  18. I think Jen has full sleeve tats.

  19. “How guys are able to tell who someone is by a picture of the midsection is totally beyond me.”

    There’s just some things we aren’t going to forget.

  20. “I think Jen has full sleeve tats.”

    That must be her on the left then?

  21. jakeandannoy on December 19, 2007 - Reply

    “How guys are able to tell who someone is by a picture of the midsection is totally beyond me”

    Elaborating on cskate’s reply, I would add that we(guys) aren’t able to tell who anyone is by a picture of the midsection. The person in question has to be female, and hot.
    Because no one wants to remember the fat girl or the girl with the cool shirt and little tits. Or the dude with the cool shirt, unless you’re into that sorta thing.

  22. I’ve never met Jay’s wife but I remember his description so I just assumed it was her. My bad.

    Don’t be hatin’ Paige, we’re all built differently.

  23. masterochicken on August 23, 2010 - Reply

    “Alleged Harassment Nets Skateboarders Citations
    Signal

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