Q: Why do skate tools suck?

A: Because they come from China and wholesale for less than $1 a piece.

Seriously, would it kill them to make the seats a little deeper so that the tool doesn’t become useless if you’ve got really soft bushings or want to tighten things down for a mega ramp session? I get unsolicited emails from Chinese companies all the time, trying to sell me plastic skateboards, cheap decks, trucks, wheels, and even authentic (?) “Bones” bearings, all on the cheap. “Swiss” bearings imported from china, including packaging. Thanks Dwindle.

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Decades late, still in demand. Thrashin’ Action Figures.

Holy #$%&!! It’s Thrashin’ action figures (!!!) flying under the radar, as seen on the Dagger Skates instagram page as coming soon! No other information out there, but Hook and Cory Webster look great. Wannabe Ramp Locals and Daggers alike demand answers. Will there be:

  • Action eyebrows for the Eddie Reategui figure?
  • Hook’s sister Velvet, AKA Sherilyn Fenn?
  • Cabriolet sports car accessory?
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers club scene playset?

The possibilities are endless. Yes these are ridiculous possibilities, but I would BUY THEM ALL.

UPDATE: Looks like these are from Kalaka Toys.

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Tobin Heath at the World Cup, and the Skatepark

My secret mission to very, very slowly (like glacially) turn this into a hybrid skateboarding and soccer site progresses nicely… Here’s Post number 2 on Portland Thorns player and (2 time!) USWNT World Cup winner (!!!) Tobin Heath! After the Sweden-England match on Saturday there was a lot of analysis in advance of the final between USA and the Netherlands.  Fox aired this segment on Tobin Heath that was filmed in Portland at Commonwealth about 2 months ago. I’ve never seen a picture of Tobin on a skateboard, but here she is on S&A again, and according to Girls Soccer Network, she skateboards. The three minute segment is an odd one, to be sure. It starts off with her juggling in the flat and then out of nowhere she’s surrounded by Solid Gold dancers, and eventually, skateboarders. The voiceover is Heath talking about her connection to soccer, and  a skateboard connection is neither explained or explicitly shown. She’s an amazing player, and I love her and both of her teams, so it pains me to say this… It’s very stiff and awkward. I blame the creative director behind this. I get it, FOX has to have some flash and filler to show in-between the big games, something to draw the viewers into the personalities of the team since the women’s league has no real national coverage.  One thing bothered me, especially in the context of the USWNT employment discrimination lawsuit against US Soccer. The skateboarding crew are all packing sausage. Surely they could found some women to fill that roll, and FFS, paid them equally. I’m not going to let it ruin my day. I found the video online, and posted some screen caps after the jump. #BAON #USWNT

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Please Explain Armadillo Skateboards

Reader Jaime Castillo asked for help identifying this Armadillo Skateboards prototype flea market find. So far my best guess is that is an Hosoi hammerhead knockoff with some sort of adjustable wheelbase plate. The Interwebs is not much help either, because it mostly just shows armadillo art on skateboards in Zazzle-type situations.  It also turned up a Hand 2 Mind product called Ron’s Ramp Adventure. At first I thought it was a DIY kit for kids to build the Armadillo equivalent of a DachRamp or a game but it’s an educational/instructional program for kids that just happens to come with a stuffed armadillo on a plastic skateboard.

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The Balance Board Trainer Hits Keep Coming

Just when you thought this segment was running out of ways to innovate, along comes the RBD lineboard.   Sure it’s essentially a Trampskate with bindings, but it’s also… Err… Wait, there’s camber! The line board is designed to be used on slack lines, or barring that, some sort of balance beam setup, or even a park bench.

– Thanks to… Who gave me this tip? Was it Josh Baker?

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Lego Friends Dogtown

Lego Friends set 41304 (Puppy Treats and Tricks)  features a cute little dog on a skateboard and a miniramp with a transition that makes me wonder if it’s not in fact supposed to be a Jersey barrier. The Lego Friends line was originally aimed to appeal to young girls. I’m sure they did a lot of market research, but for some reason these sets feature an entirely different type of minifig, one that more closely resembles actual people, or dolls as some suggest. Does this mean Lego believes little girls have a lower capacity for imagination?

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Skateboarding, it’s not just for old MEN anymore.

I expected this to be another article on old skateboarders, but the print issue of the June 2019 issue of ESPN Magazine instead features a brief excerpt of photographers David Burnett’s exhibit titled Fourth Quarter: Senior Athletes and Their Indomitable Spirit, currently showing at the Ringling Museum in Sarasota, Fl. That’s an old friend of the site Judy Oyama in the two page spread there, probably wishing they’s actually shown her skateboarding. The web site article has some, well… gnarly looking senior athletes. The hockey team is my favorite. There’s also can alleged photo of Mark Lake in there too. I say “alleged” because the caption reads “Skateboarding legend Mark Lake, 61, began his pro career at 19. Here, he takes one of his patented “Nightmare” boards for a spin at the Ramp48 Skateboard Park…” but the photograph is a guy on rollerblades. I don’t know if that’s Mark on roller blades or not. I couldn’t have picked him out of a lineup in the 80’s let alone today. While opinions on the Nightmare remain mixed, we can all agree it doesn’t look like a pair of inline skates.

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