A steady diet of Archie
Ha ha, suckas! Yes, it’s two days in a row of my arch nemesis Archie! Apparently, Free Comic Book Day works, because after I picked up the free Archie Digest (ugh) I found myself rummaging through a couple crates of old Archie-related titles and actually purchasing a decrepit piece of skateboarding in popular culture for $3, though you know my stance on just how “popular” Archie could possibly be. At the counter I told the young-ish male clerk not to judge me for buying Archie, and he replied he couldn’t possibly judge me because there was a surprising amount of Archie in his life.
Skateboarders are into a special diet! In Archie’s case, Betty… a CRASH DIET!
Oh Veronica, you slay me. The publication date of Archie number 342 is July of 1986, even though Veronica looks like she’s getting ready to go see Dee-Lite at Shelter, circa 1991. Archie illustrators are catching up to the skateboard arms race though, this particular deck is only about 5 years behind the times, a classic no-concave pig that could use some Indy 215’s. There are no other skateboard stories or illustrations in this issue.
Also in the stack, this issue of Archie’s Pals ‘n’ Gals #87, available for $10, fuck you very much. Notice the double apostrophe around the “n.” Maybe those are single quotes. Where do Pals ‘n’ Gals fit into the Archie universe? Has anyone seen the Betty and Veronica parody t-shirt where they are at the beach, engaged in a very sapphic activity? I didn’t crack this one open as I had no intention of buying it. I’m sure the staff would frown on opening the sealed protective bags. The picture is blurry because my kids and my wife were melting down in the shop, threatening to leave me unless we got out of there immediately. There’s an energy crisis and Jughead rode his skateboard to the drive-in movie. Looks like an old Sears “Hot Dog” skateboard from 1965. Good ole Jughead. When are you gonna take Archie down a notch and take over your rightful place in the hierarchy. Cool hat.
I managed to track down a scan of this cover, and found the issue online 10 years after this post was published. There are no other skateboard stories or illustrations in this issue.
square tails are popular these days.
Actually, that first cover looks like that’s a rather timeless shape, the Nash Dozer. Particularly given the position of the rider. I can’t buy Archie and Reggie as skaters, though… but of course they never let Jughaid be into or proficient at it, though that would have been credible.