Gender Neutral Br

I was hanging out at Target a couple weeks ago, because I am a red blooded American consumer. I always migrate to the toys eventually, which is right next to the crappy sports equipment selection. I noticed this Tony Hawk branded “80’s retro Skateboard” and after examining it brought it to the scanner to find out how much they were schilling it for. It turns out a “Gender Neutral Br” costs $59.99.

The graphic is a riff on the old bird skull and iron cross graphic. All in all the board is an OK deal for some kid or dad who wants to explore “old school.” A new set of bearings – alleged abec 5 rating not withstanding, might make this a halfway decent cheap setup. The shape is OK, but a little awkward near the taper after front trucks. I confess to having shaped a board similar to this in the last decade. The quality seems somewhat what you’d expect at this price point, but a little better. Granted, I didn’t actually ride this thing, because of the skate stopper installed on one wheel that requires a pair of scissors to remove. I’m going by the picture here, because I don’t recall it in the store, but the geometry of these trucks seems a little suspect. Like the kingpin is more or less vertical.

You can sort of see the awkward nose here. The trucks are a little too far forward. I apologize for the out of focus cellphone shot.

Here is the aforementioned skate stopper on a 60mm Kryptonics clone wheel.

Here’s the specs clearly listed. The 169mm wide retro trucks have Tony Hawk on the baseplate. The deck is 32.75″ by 9.75″. It did indeed have a large concave compared to most popsicles. The sticker to the far left says “Bravo Sports.” Besides making shade giving tents for dogs, they also produce licensed cheap boards for Blind, Darkstar, Kryptonics and the X Games. It’s confusing, Kryptonics, Blind and Darkstar seem to have a touch of schizophrenia. They present an identity as “real” company while whoring out their names for department store grade crap. Although Blind may be headed completely towards Nash territory with their Supersaver series.

Wheelwells…

Max Rider weight 220 pounds, but I wouldn’t want to try any big acid drops or boneless ones. Not because I can’t do them anymore… I swear! “Max Rider” sounds like the name of a character in an extreme cartoon. The safety sticker suggests using fly soled shoes, which is new to me. I guess I need to ditch my pumps.

Bring it to the price scanner. Gender Neutral Br!