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Skate and Annoy: Features

Klamath Falls, Oregon Road Trip

Warning! This 2004 post is from our static HTML era when updates were infrequent, and a pain in the ass.  It has been ported over for the sake of… what? I’m not sure. Nostalgia? Justifications are as slim as the images are small here. The content may be embarrassing, naive, poorly checked for grammar and spelling, or just plain bad, but here it is.  Our audience was mostly regional, mostly friends and friends of friends. In late 2006 we started integrating Wordpress into the site, but the so-called “features” mostly remained offline until 2016! Some of them never made it, but  this one did. Enjoy!

Klammath Falls Road Trip: Day 2 8/14/04

The next morning we woke up way too early, iced up the keg, loaded up and drove to the park. It was about 150 degrees out there in the dessert sun, and we got a case of Klamathida, which is like Chlamydia except for instead of being an STD, it’s more like heat exhaustion meets Attention Deficit Disorder, with a little bit of Vertigo and Agoraphobia thrown in. The folks at city hall were nice enough to pay for a skate park, but for some reason they couldn’t fork out a thousand bucks for some shade or a water fountain adjacent to the park, which was a major oversight. In any case, we were severely overwhelmed by size and diversity of the park. We skated as long as we could without passing out again. Seriously, there is a lot to contemplate in this park. I didn’t even bother doing the usual overview shot because it just wouldn’t work. We decided grab some food and a dip in the pool back at camp before sessioning again. It was clear that talks of hitting other southern Oregon parks were premature since we would need time to explore and acclimate to Klamath Falls. We returned to a reinvigorated session. I didn’t get many pics that day. It was just too much.

The park is huge. It has no less than seven distinct areas for skating, which we will give different names than the local probably have. Some highlights:

A kind of snowboarding-type run that has something like moguls on one side, a square hip on the other, and funnels down into a giant half bowl that is something like 13 ft tall with a couple of feet of vert. At least that is our educated guess.
A square bowl that has about a 7-8 foot deep end 4 foot shallow and a hip on the right.
A cellular mitosis bowl that some like to call penis-shaped. It’s reminiscent of a mutated capsule from the Turf, except the far end has two end caps, one of which is over vert. Otherwise, it’s long, deep and narrow, complete with a roll in against one end cap, al la the Turf, but with pool coping.

The Blinky bowl. It might officially be called a bear claw, but it looks more like one of the bad guys in Pac-Man. Big 8 or 9 foot deep end with three tight round pockets across the back of the shallow and one on either side where the waterfall is, creating a nice hip.
A small street-type area with a banked wall, quarter pipe, really mellow ditch Garter Snake run. Stairs and railing ledge.
A mini figure eight bowl that is really tiny, maybe 8 feet across at it’s widest.
Some more mini-mini half pipes at the top of the park that ends up being a staging area for the Snowboard run.
Various humps and bumps around the outskirts.

We met Corey and Jordan from Orange County California who were in the midst of their own mini road trip to Oregon. They amused us with their generally accomplished skating and generally odd sense of humor. Also there was a guy in the most elaborate knee brace I have ever seen. It was full leg length and it was crammed full of padding and who know what else, besides the world’s crappiest old Rector knee pad. Add to that a yellow construction helmet, crazy red beard, a textbook case of plumbers butt, bright green shirt that said something about a “Hucklebuck” festival on the front, and “ON MY FACE” in huge letters on the back. I asked him what a the heck a hucklebuck was and he said “I don’t know, but I got some on my face. Can you find it for me?” That didn’t keep him from riding hard in the capsule on a long board. Unfortunately I didn’t get a good picture. I did get some good ones of park local Travis, who is definiely a smart ass, and a good skater to boot.

At dusk we broke for grub and beer. Next to the Thai restaurant was a goofy store that sold skateboards, Magic the Gathering card games and Nascar crap. Needless to say, the selection was pathetic, and comprised mostly of Shorty’s and World Industries gear. Big surprise…

Next page – Day 3

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