Bustyourbuns has the most comprehensive photos of a Skatewing for sale that I’ve ever seen. There’s a reserve still to be met, and hefty $73 shipping charge for this Australian skateboard, even though it ships from California. I’ve got the cheap-o plastic version of this 80’s wacky board, but the wooden one must be a thing to behold. I’m not sure if t’s the same skatewing being passed around or if it was a systematic falling of the manufacturer, but every one I’ve seen pictures of seems to have the same stress fractures covering the entire board. Apparently, the wings were designed by an Australian yacht racer who designed the first winged keel, and so this was some sort of attempt to cash in on his fame beyond the yachting world. Two things I did not know about the skatewing; the wheels were called B52 Wing Commanda’s, and you could join the Commanda’s Club. I guess they weren’t worried about trademark infringement with Sims B52 wheels, but were somehow adverse to using the proper spelling of “commander.” (Update: Sold for $123.50 + $72.89 shipping) – Thanks to Matthijs for the tip.

Inline skate wheels on a plastic board, and it’s even got built in handles! I’m not sure what the two circular holes are for, maybe dislocating a finger? You can buy this piece of radicalness for $100, or just give your neighbor $50 to punch you in the face and you’ll still come out ahead! – Thanks to… I can’t remember. But thanks.

Part two of our series on crossover in the deathcare industry and skateboarding. You’re looking at the “Teen Skateboarder” theme from a company that provides web hosting for online obituaries that individual funeral homes subscribe to. The obituary is the generic text and photo used as filler for demo purposes. The portrait and text would change, but the stock skateboarder would remain. I guess enough teen skateboarders die that they think this would be popular. Imagine the poor sucker whose likeness they grabbed from a stock image library showing up on every teen skateboarder’s obituary page. Scratch that, imagine being the ghost of a dead teen skateboarder and having to come to grips with some stock photo wanker on your “eternal” obituary page. For all eternity, or at least until someone forgets to renew the domain name. So what’s next? Jersey barrier tombstones? Tombstones with transition? Actual (grave-type) tombstones as a tombstone on a vert ramp? – Thanks to Dan for the tip.

Jamie Thomas for Olloclip, the indispensable, yet disposable lens and adapter kits for smart phones. What do I mean by that? Olloclip allows you to quickly an conveniently expand the native photo and videography capabilities of your iPhone (or Samsung) by clipping a a high quality wide angle, macro, or telephoto lens. The lenses work great, actually, but they aren’t super cheap, and if you invest the $60-$100 in one their packages, you are shit out of luck when you switch to a new phone. That’s right, though your old lenses don’t become obsolete when you get a new phone, the bracket that mounts them onto your phone becomes totally useless, and they do not offer the ability to buy just the bracket. What are you supposed to do with your old one? Well according to a spokesperson you are “free to give them away or sell them on eBay.” So while I can’t argue against the quality of the product (Olloclips are massively useful, especially when photographing/videoing skateboarding, and they are well made), I can not help but be angry about planned obsolescence and unnecessary waste. After all, it’s not as if Apple doesn’t have a history of changing…

– Thanks to David ODK for the tip. On it’s own, I might not post this guy, unless I already had him in my possession. But something about his amorphous presence is a little disturbing, like some alien sent down to take notes and gradually assimilate and absorb the skateboarding populace into his undulating mass, until he grew to the size of the Stay-Puff marshmallow man. Then there’s the trictionary on the back of the box, often completely wrong or not actually showing the trick it describes. His arm is a lever that opens his backpack for storing Bassett’s Jelly Babies. Very sinister. There’s no date on this, but judging by the board and the description of the item as “vintage” I’m guessing it’s late 90’s or early 00’s. Get yours here.

Although only a third place medal, it deserves 1st place in the contest for skateboard setup most likely to be owned by M.C. Escher. This is an extreme case of backwards skateboard truck syndrome, or BSTS. It’s not only backwards, but almost like a bad photoshop job. (See: Edit > Transform > Flip Vertical.) On second thought, maybe the front truck is actually facing forward, but the axle is seriously out of alignment. It’s fascinating. The sort of thing I’d buy if I had a job. Then again, if I wasn’t looking at this right now, maybe I’d have a job!

From the same company that brought you Super Bat Justice Man, comes Ninja Frog on a skateboard. You might notice a similarity to certain Mutant Ninja Turtles. I don’t usually have this sort of encyclopedic knowledge at my fingertips, but the phrase “Non-fall Action” was oddly familiar, so looking it up wasn’t hard. The frog on the left is actually riding a skateboard, although it’s hard to make out. Those are turtles riding skateboards on the right, which is an actual graphic on one of a few different TMNT skateboards. it looks like one of them has a Hosoi knockoff!

Multilingual humor? Maybe not. Hass is Dutch for hare, which makes sense in the case of this skateboarding rabbit found in a Nestle Ferrero Kinder Surprise. It’s a hollow chocolate egg containing a plastic capsule with a toy. This one dates back to 1994, and fortunately, the egg has long since been eaten. Happy Easter.

Insert Elephant Man video by the Stupids here. Not to be confused with this elephant. Check out the ad for Powerflex Skateboards.

A trip to Target is a 50/50 chance that’s I’ll be able to squeak out a quick post. This time I found this helpful display instruction accidentally left on by an employee who stocked the shelves. Maybe the next version the Kryptonics produces will have an addendum that says “Don’t forget to remove this notice.” This is the very important, critical piece of skateboarding history that would be lost if I were not out there tirelessly documenting it. Betsy, where’s my Nobel Peace prize? Part of me actually wanted to take the paper notice home with me, but how embarrassing would it have been trying to explain that to store management after I got stopped by security, walking out the door?