Chinese candy with skateboard packaging. You can’t buy them directly, you have to contact a guy and arrange to import them. Oh cruel importers. How you tease me. If anyone sees these in the wild, pick one up for me would ya? I have a dietary deficiency in lead and melamine. These ducks look like Elmer Fudd.

You can get skateboard checks, check covers, calling cards and address labels from an outfit called Styles Check Company:

No obstacle is too great. No trick is too extreme. You’ll rattle the competition with these edgy, action-packed designs. These single or duplicate checks show 4 different skate decks that are sure to showcase your own style.

Rattle the competition? The check writing competition? Is there some sort of game of SKATE that involves mailing everyone a check? Here’s my card, meet me at this address for the contest. See these custom checks with Cartoon Network looing skaters on them? That’s right, I don’t fool around. I’m in your face, edgy, and action-packed.

Working title for this post: Skaters can check their balance.

I found this picture by following a trackback from Sk8.net. It’s from tumblr user djmascotboy, and you can see it larger here. This Rocky kid has good taste in female companions and bad taste in knee pads. Actually, I think he’s sharing shirts with his girlfriend. Those look like Indy 215’s he’s sporting.

Update: Checking back in over a decade later and I was able to figure out this is called Sukebo Rocky By Motoyuki Asai, and it translates to “Skateboard Rocky!”

Webcomic Penny Arcade did a strip about Tony Hawk Ride. It’s not about skateboarding though, it’s about buying and reviewing video games. Post-modern self-reference is so last decade. The guy did, in fact, hate it. I couldn’t really tell from the strip.

OK, I know this sort of falls outside of the scope of this website, at least I think it does, but I’m not sure anymore. So maybe this is the first and last time I post a commercial for Tony Hawk’s Huckjam bikes, unless there’s skateboarding in the future ones. Listen for his celebrity voiceover at the end. That almost looks like Tony as the mad scientist. It’ll be hard to tell from the Russian YouTube video quality. I can’t figure out how to delete an RuTube video, much less make it higher quality. My four year old loves riding his bike, and he knows who Tony Hawk is, sort of. He got really excited about this commercial. As he emphatically relayed it to his mom, “Tony Hawk makes bicycles. They’re for boys like me. They’re my size. They don’t have training wheels. They’re just for boys like me.” Come on product review!

The global economy would like to take care of your skateboarding and holiday needs.

12″ Skateboard Santa Claus, moving Skateboard and will change direction automatically, with X’mas song ” Ho Ho Jingle Bell “

The annoying thing about the Alibaba.com web site is that there are no pricing details available on many of the products. You have to contact someone and I suppose, arrange to have them imported. Apparently they reuse the skateboard for just about anything… (Speaking of Missing Persons) I’ve seen this board on a Troll doll too.

– Thanks to DaddyYo for the tip.

I mean, seriously? A skateboard on your birthday cake at age 21. Did the numbers get reversed or something? Are you sure he’s not 12? Come on man, get a car. That’a a nice looking board actually. I’ve seen a quite a few crappy skateboard birthday cakes on the interwebs, but this one’s got class. Google barfed up this link from Elaine’s Expression. I’m jealous… of the cake and the fact that he’s turning 21. Skateboard cake cornucopia after the jump.

One of these two videos will appeal to you whether you hate fingerboards or love them. In any case, I firmly stand by my statement. These are in fact the two examples of the highest art form in you could hope to achieve if you are going to make a fingerboarding video. Both these videos are old actually. Been sitting on them for over a year. And now I’m going to blow… your… MINDS!

I hate martinis, actually. Except on one occasion I had some chocolate martinis that were good. Real good. I like liquor in the form of girlie drinks. Cosmos, lemon drops, anything sweet. I wish I could say I had a few in me when I bought this “vintage” cocktail napkin off eBay. It was staring at me. Mocking me. If iwas in AA it would be mocktail-ing me. Still, it was a $2 “buy it now.” Right now there’s an unopened pack of 16 for $13. It says right in the damn listing that “This package of napkins is very collectible.” So it has to be. I mean, I collected one, so they aren’t exactly lying. I’d like to think this vintage napkin was of the vintage from when the office Christmas party was a punchline for a gag involving some poor schmuck with a lampshade over his head, and that would mean 60’s or 70’s if I had my druthers. Coincidentally, that was about the last time someone used the phrase “if I had my druthers.”

My inbox has been flooded with protests and requests that I ban the entity known as Daddy Yo. It’s not worth all the drama and distraction, and so I am taking the easy way out and reinstating the Daddy Yo ban. You can follow Daddy Yo at his own blog which I assume is going to dedicated to the patent on his mountainboard hybrid. The innovation here is supposed to be that the trucks are mounted on the upturned nose and tail, although I swear I’ve already seen this before, recently, and at the very least, on the Wheelee Board. I couldn’t find the actual patent online, but Michael was kind enough to send me the text from the application.