I was going to title this post “It’s reigning Jesus” or “It’s raining (religious) men” but instead I used a quote from an article in the Anchorage Press titled “Excuse me while I kiss the sky.” It’s a heartwarming tale of an 18 year old kid in Anchorage who is fighting the Alaskan weather and racial prejudice on journey to become a professional skateboarder. Sounds like a Hallmark movie. Oh yeah, the whole point of this post is Stephen Baldwin in Russia (!?!) holding a religious-themed skateboard [Source: Perez Hilton] and even better, (Is that possible?) a series of Jesus action figures engaged in Extreme!™ sports, not to mention panhandling (?!) , bull-riding, and in army fatigues(!!?!?!). All this plus a Jesus in skateboarding roundup, or hoedown, if you will, after the jump.

Portland designer Maple (not affiliated with Maple skateboards) makes earrings, bracelets, rings and purses from used skateboards. Sure, that’s been done before, but this is a slightly different take. It’s mostly geared towards gals, but I could see the bracelets going over well in some circles of skateboarding, like the Ipath crowd. The hexgaon shaped one looks cool. Is there a macho word for “bracelet?” Maple is at the mercy of finding used decks with dyed plies to make her craft more interesting. Extra bonus, part of the proceeds from some sales go to a skateboarding charity to be determined. Both owners of the SPS acronym ( 1 and 2 ) were being considered. Maybe Maple can fill in the blank. Check it out.

That’s no typo in the the title, it’s editorial commentary. The April 20th issue of Entertainment Weekly has a “Style” page with this breaking news: “The latest hip-hop style trend? Skateboard Chic.” Apparently, the style is called Skurban. The layout features a couple DGK decks in the layout, and assorted trite skateboard culture observations. If you can stomach it, you can see and read it all after the jump.

Mark Conahan made a comic with featuring the skateboarders on the Tootsie Roll Pop wrapper. Today I saw on the Krux web site that they have some shirts called “sucker” featuring the appropriated art. Nice job Krux, but a bummer for me because I was working on something similar for a different project. I guess that is why Krux (AKA N.H.S.) is a real company, and my operation runs out of a basement. Oh well, you snooze, you lose. If by some chance you’ve never noticed the skateboarders on the Tootsie Pop Roll wrappers, keep reading.

Andy Jenkins of Mel Bend fame among other things has a vinyl figure of Wrench Pilot character Lettus Bee taking faceplant. Limited to 500 pieces and costing $100 (!??), I suppose people would be upset if you called it a “plastic toy.” It’s pretty cool actually, but not a hundred bucks cool. Too rich for my blood. MOre pics after the jump. [Source: Sublimited]

OK, We might lose a few readers with this post, but the Zombie Jesus pro model from Creature made me chuckle. It reminded me of those equally tasteless but funny rock concert t-shirts from the 80’s that said “Adolf Hitler World Tour.” The best part was on the back where it listed the tour dates and locations. The England entry said “Cancelled.” I’m actually kind of surprised Creature is selling these. I’m guessing they hope to avoid too much controversy by keeping them limited to 500 pieces. Or possibly, the artwork is so crappy, that’s all they think they can sell. This board gets an “A” for the concept and a “C minus, minus” for execution. Really. It looks like hell. Actually, the only thing keeping this board from being completely uninteresting (aside from the whole blasphemy thing) is the marketing. It’s being released on Good Friday and You can’t “Passover” this insanse-o limited release.

These are prepaid debit cards, meaning you can only spend as much as you have in your account. You can still order junk from the Interwebs™ without worrying about going over your limit. Parents, teach your kids fiscal responsibility with corporate identity. Take a look at your choice of logos and personalities. It’s not surprising in the least. You can even get cards with cool punk bands like Clay Aiken and Good Charlotte. [Source: Sublimited] More after the jump.

This is just something that makes Shmack stand out from the competition. Check these pants that come packaged in this Nike SB style shoe box. These jeans feature Shmacks sneaker protector on the cufs of the pants to keep your jeans from ruining your kicks. And to put it the package over the top there are 2 gold Shmack sneaker tabs (the things that go on your laces, like the AF1s). And for those of you who skate we got some limited edition Shmack skate decks. CJ says you should get one and see him at the skate park.

I’ll never win any fashion awards, and I’ve worn some stupid stuff in the past, but you’ve got a vanity problem if you are worried about your jeans somehow ruining your shoes. Dare I say, it makes you seem a bit feminine? Shmack is making a skateboard too, but it must be for posing since actually skating would definitely ruin your kicks. Does anyone know about this? Not our scene for sure. Ask CJ if you see him at the skatepark. Shmack makes a lot of 80’s style hip hop clothing as well as hoodies with a break away mask for disguising yourself in a really conspicuous manner. They’ve got a skate team too. Don’t be a hater. [Source: Getta Clue]

It’s always a bummer when your rock and roll heroes start to look like your grandmother. That’s none other than J. Mascis of Dinosaur Jr fame posing with one of the limited edition Dinosaur Jr skateboards from Alien Workshop at SPOT. The artwork is from their first release as Dinosaur before they had to change their name. It turns out there are also Dinosaur JR wheels. And I thought Naked Raygun skateboards were a niche market. I saw Dinosaur (JR) in a small club in Champaign Illinois circa ’87 or so. Loudest damn show I’ve ever been too. Unfortunately, also one of the most boring. I think I left in the middle. Those darn kids and their rambunctious rock and roll! I think they are back together again with a mostly original lineup. You can see enlargements of the product after the jump. You’re skating all over me. [Source: JMascis.com]

So there’s a stand with a bar that raises and lowers in height and swings away when you hit it. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that although silly, this thing would be useful if you were into that sort of behavior – for contests, errr, training or whatever. Never mind that the name has already been used at least three times before for a toy, some sort of fishing rod, and finally a scooter handle for skateboards. No other information available, except for the commercial after the jump.