I hate martinis, actually. Except on one occasion I had some chocolate martinis that were good. Real good. I like liquor in the form of girlie drinks. Cosmos, lemon drops, anything sweet. I wish I could say I had a few in me when I bought this “vintage” cocktail napkin off eBay. It was staring at me. Mocking me. If iwas in AA it would be mocktail-ing me. Still, it was a $2 “buy it now.” Right now there’s an unopened pack of 16 for $13. It says right in the damn listing that “This package of napkins is very collectible.” So it has to be. I mean, I collected one, so they aren’t exactly lying. I’d like to think this vintage napkin was of the vintage from when the office Christmas party was a punchline for a gag involving some poor schmuck with a lampshade over his head, and that would mean 60’s or 70’s if I had my druthers. Coincidentally, that was about the last time someone used the phrase “if I had my druthers.”

Post-holiday depression? Here’s a video of Santa bombing some hills. I know it’s a day late, but it’s still funny that it comes from CNN via their iReport site. I like the concept for getting eyewitness news up faster, but lately CNN is getting more and more like AM talk radio. Seriously, who cares what some hothead in Iowa thinks about the mortgage crisis. If I wanted to watch amateur news I’d turn on Fox.

Happy holidays to our readers. Really, shouldn’t you be hanging out with your families and loved-ones instead of surfing the web? No? There’s four videos of Santa skateboarding after the jump.

I’m beginning to feel like there might be enough to make a skateboard-only Christmas tree. One time the missus and I decorated a tree entirely with plastic bugs and rubber snakes that we bought in bulk and used a fishing line and a sewing needle to make the loops. You have to heat the needle tip over a lighter to make it go through the bugs without destroying your thumb. It occurred to me that I’m always making these type of posts too close to the actual date that they pertain to. Believe me when I tell you that someone will contact me in six months, asking where they can buy one of these things. Listen up. We don’t sell them, and if they don’t show up on the links I’ve provided, then I can’t help you out any further. Bah, Humbug! – Thanks to Daddy Yo for the tip.

Digital print on demand services don’t really count as mass produced items, but there are a bunch of skateboard Christmas ornaments available at Cafe Press that like most of the fare found there, ranges from well done illustrations (in rare cases) to what is essentially clip art, with a catch phrase if you are lucky! There should be some sort of fine for any meathead who uploads clip art to Cafe Press. I’m going to strike it rich honey! They’re just giving away these drawings! I know, add a “No Fear” to it! As Dr Brad is fond of saying lately, just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should. Even the nice illustrations look cheesy on the mockups. maybe they are better looking in real life. – Thanks to… (Drumroll please) Daddy Yo for the tip! Part two coming later.

Were you a good boy or girl? Did you get a skateboard for Christmas? If you didn’t, maybe it was because Santa was too busy skating to stop by your house.

Merry X-treme-mas! Ho, ho, haaar! Here’s a wrap up of skateboard Christmas ornaments. Sorry Jews, Muslims, Mormans, Rastafarians, Pastafarians, Pan-Africans, etc… Nothing against you. Praise Jeebus and give thanks to Batman.