Animalz headphones by Retrak, offering retractable cords, volume limiting, and awesome names like Jam Bunneez. I’m sure the volume limiting has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the headphones. Mom-approved Monkey spotted in Best Buy.

I totally got yelled at by the DJ for walking onto the roller rink with street shoes during the transition, and there were only about 10 people on the rink at the time… Yeah, I’m rebel Dottie. I saw some random Sure-grip International sales materials laying around the ghost-town pro-shop, as well as a Roller Bones poster. In the early 80’s the closest spot to see real skateboards for sale in some parts of Suburban Chicago was a roller skate shop. This advertisement for MyKidsDentistOnline.com hangs over the rink at Gresham Skate World. Nothing says free kid’s toothbrush with an asterisk quite like an anthropomorphized molar riding a skateboard! Sink your teeth into that awkward sentence.

Classic games as copyrighted properties are bought and sold by companies like anything else. Typically, when a classic game is re-published by a new company, they cut corners in production to make it cheaper, and in worst-case scenarios, they decide to change the rules and mess with basic game play. This is the 2015 edition of The Game of Life, which has undergone a few updates. All the cool, elevated pathways are gone, and the card functions have changed, but if you draw “Win a Skateboarding Competition” you can “show everyone your moves” and collect 100k. Is that X-games or Street League money?

Well… I’ve just about lost interest in this whole thing, but I guess I can half-ass it for another year. These are window cling stickers found in the random crap section of your supermarket. It features all you favorite team sports, such as baseball, basketball, football, soccer, and skateboarding! Whee!

“Merry Christmas, Santa Claus travels on skateboard” is not nearly as funny as “Frohes Weihnachtsfest, Nikolaus fährt auf Skateboard” should be. This is a German postcard from 1987, as seen 8 months ago on the Luxembourg based auction site delcamp.net.

Without the description from the seller, I would have assumed this was an 80’s era Christmas ornament with some extracurricular tchotchkes attached to it. However, the auction lists this 7″ tall Santa as dating from the early 90’s, and that it is in fact NOS from “St Nicholas Square” at Kohls. It seems a little suspect, with the soccer ball awkwardly attached to his armpit, and a plastic skateboard that looks familiar. He reminds me of those cartoons where an unfortunate rube swallows a magnet and starts attracting all kinds of metal objects. Only Santa knows for sure.

It may be hard to imagine a scenario where Simpsons merchandise would still have hipster cred, but Gummi Venus has managed to pull it off. The Simpsons are heavily played out, but Gummi Venus has created some cool merch. The weird thing is, the entire business model is based on unlicensed products for a TV show that is still active and still has it’s own merchandise. Sure, the Gummy Venus stuff is better, but it would seem like only a matter of time before they get shut down. Anyway, here’s Maggie Simpson riding a skateboard. It’s by far not the best work of Gummy Venus, but it passes.

I was actually looking for some budget Vision completes (popsicles) that have the Gator graphic but just say “Vision.”  I have been told those have been seen in some Walmarts, but I couldn’t find any. Stay classy, Vision. The LED TV’s on display had a  continuous loop of snowboarding playing, interspersed with last minute gift ideas like this RC Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle on a skateboard.

I don’t get stoner culture, especially the way some participants are so into the idea of pot, and all the paraphernalia that surrounds the use of it. I suppose it can be likened in some aspects to people who enjoy a good craft beer or making their own home-brew. What I do get, is the amount of talent Tristan Hodges has for blowing glass. If I’m ever in the market for an exquisitely made glass pipe in the form factor of a skateboard, I know exactly where to go. And now, so do you.

Bart Simpson skateboard sightings are a dime a dozen. The best part about this ticket-spewing, foot-operated version of the classic electronic game Simon is the supporting Simpsons cast members on skateboards. Milhouse and Martin are flailing as can be expected, but check out Nelson’s confident, tuck-knee style. Current bid is only $100, but that 300lb shipping weight is a buzzkill.

– Thanks to Josh at Beach Party Attitude for the tip.