Sure, you may be the Cara Beth Burnside of fingerboarding, but you still can’t get anyone to pay attention to anything besides your tits. I’m sorry. I tried to think of a more delicate way to put this, but I just couldn’t.

I ran into Egbert on the way out of Epic on Saturday. He was carrying a big cooler in through the front door. I asked him what it was for and he said “we’re gonna make sandwiches” like it was something everybody does at a skatepark. In reality, he had some sort of skit planned for this X-mas video, but Thomas NIchols had a freak accident and ended up breaking his arm after a flat bar mishap. Grover keeps trying to get me to ride that thing too. I’m glad I ignored him. Watch the Merde-ee Christmas vid after the jump, plus bonus footage of Nichols’ part in another vid for Auviq.

Photobucket is such a POS. You can link directly to an image, but if you want to link to the album containing it, they password protect it. What’s the point? This is a detail from a Gingers infographic.

This is from a February, 1980 National Geographic article on the Apache Indian Reserve. Genius. Simple, yet effective. Pure. Enlarge-o-rama. – Thanks to Ryan Mann for the tip.

This installment of Time Lapse Theater is from the Bennett Project, courtesy of Conspiracy Skateboards and featuring the Team Pain crew. – Thanks to G.J. for the tip.

It’s the third annual Skate Like a Girl Wheels of Fortune at the Skatebarn in Renton, WA. Skate Like A Girl’s 3rd annual Wheels of Fortune girls skate contest will be going off on Sunday December 19th at Skatebarn (2900 Lind Ave SW, Renton, WA) just outside of Seattle, so MARK YOUR CALENDERS! We would love to see a ton of ladies from Portland make it out for this fun-filled day with a beginner, intermediate, and pro level ladies only competition/jam. TONS of prizes (and a cash purse for the Pro category), and lots of new skate friends to meet. This event brings out gals from all over the country including some of our Canadian neighbors up north and some X Games names like Amy Caron, Vanessa Torres and Tamara Drybrough. It’s an event NOT TO BE MISSED! More info to come on the event as the date draws nearer. Flyer and videos from the previous two years after the jump.

More tarp surfing, this time from the folks at the Mountain Dew ad agency. I haven’t actually seen this one on the air, but a few months ago there was an iPhone ad that featured an Iphone (duh!) playing a video of tarp surfing. Mountain Dew takes it to the next level by employing the largest tarp to date and combining it with a large bank in a ditch. – Thanks to Boy Ipoh for tip.

You have to really, REALLY like your sponsor to get a tattoo this big of a brand mark. I just hope for Rob Dyrdek’s sake that Monster Energy is never sold to another entity that decided to let his contract lapse. For insurance sake, maybe Rob should take up this offer to talk about some Patent Pending technology. Follow that link to an auction for a guy trying to sell his phone number to Rob Dyrdek in exchange for a sales pitch. Patent Drama? UP FOR BIDS IS MY PHONE NUMBER, FOR ROB DYRDEK ONLY. IF YOURE NOT ROD DYRDEK, YOU CAN CALL ME BUT IT’S GONNA COST YOU $1000….SO IM COOL WITH THAT. BUT ID MUCH RATHER JUST TALK TO ROB. SO ROB, I CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA A FEW YEARS AGO, THAT I THINK WILL HAVE A HUGE, POSITIVE IMPACT ON THE SKATEBOARD INDUSTRY! IT’S NOT SOME STUPID GIMMICK, NO RETARDED, SWERVY BOARD OR SPACE SHIP BOARD OR ANY OF THAT CRAP. IT I JUST RECENTLY RECEIVED “PENDING PATENT” STATUS ON IT, SO IM READY TO GET THE BALL ROLLIN AND I THINK YOU MIGHT SEE SOME REAL VALUE IN IT. I WOULDNT WASTE YOUR TIME….I KNOW…