The July 1st issue of Bicycle Retailer and Industry News reports that Tony Hawk has inked a deal for a signature bike line with a company called Dynacraft. Tony Hawk will be joining Dynacraft’s illustrious lineup of brands that include Hot Wheels and Barbie. You can buy these performance machines at such fine cycling outfitters as Amazon.com and Target. What’s that? concerned about the quality? Not to worry, according to Bicycle Retailer and Industry News

Tony Hawk bikes will be completely different than anything Dynacraft has distributed in the past,” said John Bisges, managing director at Dynacraft. “They will have higher end components, updated frames and the most cutting edge graphics ever. We are all extremely excited about this new bike line, and are certain it will be a big hit when we showcase it to customers at this year’s Interbike show.” The line will be available in retail stores beginning in spring 2008.

I’m placing bets that Tony Hawk bicycles will likely be a BMX facsimile. Maybe we can expect a Matt Hoffman to start hawking toy skateboards in retaliation. Get a closeup of some previous Dynacraft “cutting edge graphics” after the jump. Update: Not just one bike line, but two! “Huckjam” gets it’s own series of bicycles.

Never mind the questionable corporate merchandising tie-in and issues of sweat-shop assembly, this Lightning McQueen child’s skateboard looks just the right size for your toddler skateboarder. But the thing barely turns and is really slow.

We learned why when dad swapped out the wheels, Hey! Those aren’t bearings at all! They just molded some plastic into a rough precision-bearing shape. I suppose it’s a good thing that the wheels and bearings could be replaced, the reproduction was accurate enough for that. What do you want for $25 right?

Dang, those Disney marketing folks are such assholes!

$150 will buy you one out of 500 Screaming Hand figures made world wide. They must have had some hardcore economists genius, or wizards if you will, figure out the intersection of supply, demand, and price to give the highest profit potential. I’d imagine they could sell a lot more than 500 if they priced it for mere mortals and not hipster lowbrow art speculators. Jim Phillips deserves to get paid for sure, but it would be nice to allow working class fans the chance to appreciate art as well. You can preorder yours now from Garage Works. Then again you can pay a mere $100 for one of these.

[Tip off: Doogantown from Old Man Army]

Over the years I’ve met and spoken with some interesting people that I otherwise wouldn’t have a chance to, were it not for Skate and Annoy. Sometimes I search them out, sometimes they find me. We’ve got a gallery of 70’s skateboard bubblegum trading card stickers, and what better excuse to bring it up than some correspondence with the Jesse Crumb, son of legendary 70’s underground art icon R. Crumb. Jesse runs the official R. Crumb web site, as well as being an artist in his own right. Here’s part of what he had to say:

MAN! I have been looking for those cards/decals for 30 years, at least. I grew up in Northern Cal., near Ukiah. There were a few of us into injuring ourselves. A piece of gravel could throw you 10 feet, as you know anyway. So at the local corner store these cards arrived, but in very short supply, and they were COVETED. One guy who got a pack was a really feral kid, parents were complete hippies. My folks were back to the landers, but some of them.. MAN..the kids were just..ON THEIR OWN at, you know 7 years old?? Jeezis.. ANYWAY..So..he climbs the rope at the gym. Potter Valley High school gym. We were Hippy schooled at that time, but years later when I would enter “Public School” that decal..”Sidewalk Warrior” was STILL up there, and I would gaze at it. 50 feet in the air..every time I was in that Gym. It finally disappeared in the 80’s, but it was up there a good 10 plus years, more maybe. It’s hazy. Whelp! thanks for the Posting..took along time to find those images..Thanks for the Mental Image Update..

So check out the trading card stickers and the R. Crumb site while you are at it.

I was going to title this post “It’s reigning Jesus” or “It’s raining (religious) men” but instead I used a quote from an article in the Anchorage Press titled “Excuse me while I kiss the sky.” It’s a heartwarming tale of an 18 year old kid in Anchorage who is fighting the Alaskan weather and racial prejudice on journey to become a professional skateboarder. Sounds like a Hallmark movie. Oh yeah, the whole point of this post is Stephen Baldwin in Russia (!?!) holding a religious-themed skateboard [Source: Perez Hilton] and even better, (Is that possible?) a series of Jesus action figures engaged in Extreme!™ sports, not to mention panhandling (?!) , bull-riding, and in army fatigues(!!?!?!). All this plus a Jesus in skateboarding roundup, or hoedown, if you will, after the jump.

Orezona pointed this out in response to my post about the Hot Topperz plastic mohawk helmet decoration.

He says helmet flair is the new pink. I wonder what he means by that?

&Sane Helmet Spikes

Here in the Pacific Northwest we have a chain called Fred Meyer. It’s a combined supermarket and department store: food, clothes, plants, hardware, electronics, film processing, pharmacy and sporting goods. I had a good laugh in the sporting goods section one morning. Did you know Flowboards were being sold under the Kryptonics label? Get yours for $60. $19.99 completes! I actually picked up a couple of those plastic helmet mohawks because they once came to me in a vision.

Because I waste my time not skateboarding by writing about skateboarding instead of playing video games, I was unaware of this 2004(!) game called TrackMania that lets players create and race on their own Extreme™! tracks. Not all of them are skateboard inspired, but this one sure is. Watch the video after the jump.

An ad agency called EyeWonder has created some crazy banner ads for web pages that unfold and let interested parties fool around and learn about Tony Hawk’s Project 8 game without having to leave the page. You can do things like use your cursor to scrub through the super slow motion “Nail the Trick” sequences and view trailers and screen captures. It’s very well thought out use of web technology to draw in the viewer. The average game console graphics engine must not be up to snuff when it comes to skinning the character’s shoes, otherwise I can’t believe they would pass up the extra product tie-in opportunity with the accompanying kick-back. Check out a demo of the ad here, and no, they didn’t pay to be included here, It just happens that it’s interesting enough to warrant a post here. Free advertising… Bastards! [Source: Eywonder]

Hot Wheels Skate Freaks is a collection of skateboard toys that looks like it was designed in the 80’s. The figures appear to based on some Sizzler type technology they resurrected in some time around 2000 for skateboard toys. Watch this commercial with an Extreme™ voiceover and more Skate Freaks action after the jump.