Stay in your own lane Mike Huckabee. Leave the skate-harassment of Beto to the professionals. This isn’t a laughing matter, but Dr. Schapiro sure made my day.

Or, as Lands’ End phrased it in a recent catalog, “Skate like a pro, dress like their agent.” Hopsack Blazers, available in “Big Boy” and “Little Boy” sizes. – Thanks to Tallboy Can for the scan.

Holy #$%&!! It’s Thrashin’ action figures (!!!) flying under the radar, as seen on the Dagger Skates instagram page as coming soon! No other information out there, but Hook and Cory Webster look great. Wannabe Ramp Locals and Daggers alike demand answers. Will there be: Action eyebrows for the Eddie Reategui figure? Hook’s sister Velvet, AKA Sherilyn Fenn? Cabriolet sports car accessory? Red Hot Chili Peppers club scene playset? The possibilities are endless. Yes these are ridiculous possibilities, but I would BUY THEM ALL. UPDATE: Looks like these are from Kalaka Toys.

My secret mission to very, very slowly (like glacially) turn this into a hybrid skateboarding and soccer site progresses nicely… Here’s Post number 2 on Portland Thorns player and (2 time!) USWNT World Cup winner (!!!) Tobin Heath! After the Sweden-England match on Saturday there was a lot of analysis in advance of the final between USA and the Netherlands.  Fox aired this segment on Tobin Heath that was filmed in Portland at Commonwealth about 2 months ago. I’ve never seen a picture of Tobin on a skateboard, but here she is on S&A again, and according to Girls Soccer Network, she skateboards. The three minute segment is an odd one, to be sure. It starts off with her juggling in the flat and then out of nowhere she’s surrounded by Solid Gold dancers, and eventually, skateboarders. The voiceover is Heath talking about her connection to soccer, and  a skateboard connection is neither explained or explicitly shown. She’s an amazing player, and I love her and both of her teams, so it pains me to say this… It’s very stiff and awkward. I blame the creative director behind this. I get it, FOX has to have some flash and filler to show…

There’s a bit of skateboarding in the street and some rollerskating at a skatepark in this new commercial from Fitbit, but the most exciting thing is the soundtrack. Private Idaho by the B52’s.

Reader Jaime Castillo asked for help identifying this Armadillo Skateboards prototype flea market find. So far my best guess is that is an Hosoi hammerhead knockoff with some sort of adjustable wheelbase plate. The Interwebs is not much help either, because it mostly just shows armadillo art on skateboards in Zazzle-type situations.  It also turned up a Hand 2 Mind product called Ron’s Ramp Adventure. At first I thought it was a DIY kit for kids to build the Armadillo equivalent of a DachRamp or a game but it’s an educational/instructional program for kids that just happens to come with a stuffed armadillo on a plastic skateboard.

I expected this to be another article on old skateboarders, but the print issue of the June 2019 issue of ESPN Magazine instead features a brief excerpt of photographers David Burnett’s exhibit titled Fourth Quarter: Senior Athletes and Their Indomitable Spirit, currently showing at the Ringling Museum in Sarasota, Fl. That’s an old friend of the site Judy Oyama in the two page spread there, probably wishing they’s actually shown her skateboarding. The web site article has some, well… gnarly looking senior athletes. The hockey team is my favorite. There’s also can alleged photo of Mark Lake in there too. I say “alleged” because the caption reads “Skateboarding legend Mark Lake, 61, began his pro career at 19. Here, he takes one of his patented “Nightmare” boards for a spin at the Ramp48 Skateboard Park…” but the photograph is a guy on rollerblades. I don’t know if that’s Mark on roller blades or not. I couldn’t have picked him out of a lineup in the 80’s let alone today. While opinions on the Nightmare remain mixed, we can all agree it doesn’t look like a pair of inline skates.

This is the cover of Elle Zen from the Spring 2018 issue. I couldn’t find any more photos from the cover session, but the web site had a couple “articles” including one that translates to “3 good reasons to go skateboarding.” From the picture I assumed at least one of them was going to be fashion accessory or dating related… but they’re all very good reasons: To feel good about yourself. To be fit. To have fun. They also have another article titled Mettez-vous au longboard! Although article is actually about surfing, it is inexplicably illustrated with a woman posing on a skateboard.

NBC Sports reports “The Russian Anti-Doping Agency says Maxim Kruglov, known as “Mad Maxim,” was punished under a rule against athletes who evade or refuse giving a drug-test sample.” So yes, a top Russian skateboarder was hit with doping ban. Is he a top Russian skateboarder? Where are our Russian readers? (Not the ones trying to brute force their way into the back end of the site…) I don’t think the Olympics is the place for skateboarding. I don’t think skateboarding needs the Olympics. At most, a few winners might get their faces on a Wheaties box, and maybe a few “training facilities” get built. The biggest benefits are going to be for soft drinks and soft goods manufacturers. I also don’t think the Olympics are going to somehow ruin skateboarding. Keep skateboarding for the core skaters? That ship has sailed. Hey kids, if you want to skateboard in the Olympics, follow their rules. No collusion.

Honda is airing a commercial for the Civic Sport that features a bunch of, you know, sporty actions like BMX, tightrope walking and skateboarding on giant obstacles that spell out the word “Civic” in the middle of the desert. It’s actually very visually pleasing. Hard to tell wether they actually built all those mirrored obstacles and carted them out there, or whether there’s a ton of computer rendering involved, but it looks great. It has a vaguely 80’s vibe too. If you know who the “trained professional” is, please leave it in the comments.