Hot Wheels Skate Freaks is a collection of skateboard toys that looks like it was designed in the 80’s. The figures appear to based on some Sizzler type technology they resurrected in some time around 2000 for skateboard toys. Watch this commercial with an Extreme™ voiceover and more Skate Freaks action after the jump.

Let’s compare the progress of the motorized toy skateboard to the motorized toy helicopter. Vertibird debuted in the early 70’s. I’m guessing the first battery powered tethered controller skateboard was around the time. Today you can buy a radio controlled helicopter that will fly indoor and unfettered for less than $50. The only advancement made in RC skateboards is the ability to play girlie punk-lite music from the controller. You’ll still be spinning 360’s and popping wheelies, albiet Fashion Flippin’ ones. In favor of Vertibirds: Pretend to be on a Coast Guard rescue, police patrol, or Nasa spaceship recovery mission. 30 years later with the Bratz you can pretend to be a tarted up teenage prostitute on a skateboard. Check out the commercial and more after the jump.

Nothing much much funny I can write about cervical cancer. Here’s a commercial for a vaccination program using Gardasil. It features a female skater. Looks like she’s not using a stunt double. Hard to tell, the skating shots are at a distance. Anyone know this girl? Oh wait, I’ve got it. We’re glad to be able to provide this public health cervix to our female readers. Hold on, hold on! For all you female Clash fans, this is a public cervix announcement… with guitars!

This should really be part 1 I think. This is probably the first car as skateboard commercial I ever saw back in 2006, but I was unable to record it until now. This Jeep is so bad ass that it causes a ball of rolling jumk to follow until it spontaneously assembles into a robot and proceeds to ride the car like a skateboard. Automobile manufacturers are ever safety conscious, and so is the robot. He takes the time to rip a dome off the top of a nearby building to wear as a helmet. Quite frightening, actually. I wouldn’t want to have to worry about property damage suits everytime I drove my car. Watch the video and learn about the robot’s old schoool roots after the jump.

The first time I went to college I lived in a dive of a house with 14 people called Ten Shitty Guys. The McDonalds monopoly game was new-ish at the time and we pooled our game pieces in the house to try and win. One day we thought we won $1000 or something like that, so we marched down to McDonalds to try and get paid. Turned out that there was another Monopoly based promotion going on somewhere else with game pieces that were almost identical. We won a prize all right, first place jackasses. Here’s a 2006 (I think) commercial for McDonalds Monopoly game promotion with a Best Buy connection, and (implied) vert skating…

This is what I live for. This Burger King commercial from the 70’s features skaters Dan Murray and Robbie Weir. Here’s a few of the highlights: 360’s with a serving tray! The King is live action this time, no plastic mask like the current commercials feature. He rides what looks like a Duane Peters deck, as well as an early contender for the World’s Largest Skateboard. They either switch stunt doubles or reverse the shot to get frontside airs in both directions. The sound track is… so bitchin! Here’s a quote “… and burgers made just right. Afternoon delight. Out of sight!” A complete transcription and more after the jump. Now I can retire. Update: The Burger King kid speaks!

I’m sure Tony was flattered to be asked to represent the state of California in a commercial promoting tourism. There’s nothing more quintessentially California than skateboarding, right? I’m sure the joy left him as soon as he read another script asking him to talk about “pop.”

Grind Session was released for the Play Station (first one) in 2000. This is kind of cheating because it’s a commercial for a skateboarding game, but it’s notable for a couple of reasons. It’s one of the first times someone managed to get something that approached real skateboard culture on TV. Also, it’s probably the first time Black Flag was ever heard on network TV, not counting the background music in the movie Repo Man. But wait, there’s more. Is that a videogame likeness of Pig Pen skating Burnside on national TV?

This is day 11 of a commercial a day. I’m going to quit after day 14. Not for lack of commercials, I just can’t take the pressure. It’s the weekend man. I ‘ve got better things to do! Here’s a recent HP Computers commercial featuring the rapper Pharrell. He talks a bout having his own pro skateboarding team. I won’t get into that here because I’ve got a separate post planned about how much of a jackass he is when it comes to skateboarding. However, there is a bit of unintended irony in the way the skateboarders are presented that makes them look like puppets. Catch the commercial after the jump.

I thought I was going to run out of commercials to showcase, but lucky you, I dug up this old VHS tape I had in a box. Continuing the yogurt industry’s obsession. with skateboarding, here’s an ad from around 1999 or 2000 for Yoplait brand GoGurt, which is yogurt in a tube. Please excuse the clipping of the beginning which was due to not giving the VCR enough time to cue up properly. That was the best I could due at the time. I blame Y2K.