Sure, you may be the Cara Beth Burnside of fingerboarding, but you still can’t get anyone to pay attention to anything besides your tits. I’m sorry. I tried to think of a more delicate way to put this, but I just couldn’t.

I ran into Egbert on the way out of Epic on Saturday. He was carrying a big cooler in through the front door. I asked him what it was for and he said “we’re gonna make sandwiches” like it was something everybody does at a skatepark. In reality, he had some sort of skit planned for this X-mas video, but Thomas NIchols had a freak accident and ended up breaking his arm after a flat bar mishap. Grover keeps trying to get me to ride that thing too. I’m glad I ignored him. Watch the Merde-ee Christmas vid after the jump, plus bonus footage of Nichols’ part in another vid for Auviq.

This is from a February, 1980 National Geographic article on the Apache Indian Reserve. Genius. Simple, yet effective. Pure. Enlarge-o-rama.

– Thanks to Ryan Mann for the tip.

This installment of Time Lapse Theater is from the Bennett Project, courtesy of Conspiracy Skateboards and featuring the Team Pain crew.

– Thanks to G.J. for the tip.

It’s the third annual Skate Like a Girl Wheels of Fortune at the Skatebarn in Renton, WA.

Skate Like A Girl’s 3rd annual Wheels of Fortune girls skate contest will be going off on Sunday December 19th at Skatebarn (2900 Lind Ave SW, Renton, WA) just outside of Seattle, so MARK YOUR CALENDERS! We would love to see a ton of ladies from Portland make it out for this fun-filled day with a beginner, intermediate, and pro level ladies only competition/jam. TONS of prizes (and a cash purse for the Pro category), and lots of new skate friends to meet. This event brings out gals from all over the country including some of our Canadian neighbors up north and some X Games names like Amy Caron, Vanessa Torres and Tamara Drybrough. It’s an event NOT TO BE MISSED! More info to come on the event as the date draws nearer.

Flyer and videos from the previous two years after the jump.

More tarp surfing, this time from the folks at the Mountain Dew ad agency. I haven’t actually seen this one on the air, but a few months ago there was an iPhone ad that featured an Iphone (duh!) playing a video of tarp surfing. Mountain Dew takes it to the next level by employing the largest tarp to date and combining it with a large bank in a ditch.

– Thanks to Boy Ipoh for tip.

The Real Adventures of Johnny Quest was a 1986 retread of the original 60’s version of the show. Episode 16 of season 2 was titled Other Space and features hoverboard action. In the words of Grover, who unearthed this footage, “They hover the shit out of this episode.”

The new skatepark for the city of Lafayette, CO is having a grand opening on December 11th, at noon, although I hear there has already been a soft opening. Check some more pictures on the Facebook page.. It seems like Team Pain owns the state of Colorado these days.

Cool title for this inspired surf instrumental by the band The Five out of Brisbane, Australia. Miseri Loves Company is from their 2010 ep titled ‘For Five Nights Only’. The video has schoolyard skateboard footage form the 70’s.

Stands for Artisphere in AAA magazine. I’d leave at a link to the article, but they won’t let you read it unless you are in the right zip code, and I’ve tried some logical guesses, but apparently there is some advantage to not letting people read something just because they don’t live near there. Sheesh, what a misguided strategy. You can still read it if you really want to look beyond CSS tricks, or you can read it here after the jump. Artisphere is the joint that had the Skateboard Side Effects show. The image above is Lia Halloran’s Dark Skate Backyard. She’s got a body of these long exposure with light trails made by skateboarders that I swore was on S&A somewhere before, but I can’t find it.

– Thanks to Andrew Wahl for the tip.