If you give a monkey a typewriter and an infinite amount of time, it will eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare. It looks like someone is looking to hire a blog monkey to write about skateboarding:

I am seeking someone to write 35 unique 200-250 word Blog Articles related to skateboarding (art of skateboarding, current famous boarders, the skateboard itself and/or its parts). Your bid should be for writing ALL 30 Articles, not a per Article price. Writers must have complete command of the English language, including sentence structure, spelling, grammar, and must be able to write from a North American perspective. Having used a skateboard and/or at least familiar with the skateboard “lingo” is a must. As the articles are to be used to achieve high rankings in search engines, we require unique, high quality, well-written, keyword-rich, spider-friendly Articles. Keyword density should hover around the 5% mark.

I can’t wait to see the web site this these articles get used for. I’m sure those high search engine rankings are going to be used for the love of skateboarding and not to try and sell us some crap. Are you applying for this job? The Minneapolis Star Tribune promises to help you “Learn the lingo” with their Thrasher’s Glossary. Picture credits (a banana board, get it?) and more after the jump. So far I’ve written 233 words on this entry, maybe I’ll apply.

Speaking of finding balance:

Dear Online Publisher,

We have just launched a new boardsport specific affiliate network featuring:

• Cool advertising campaigns targeted at snowboarders, skateboarders, surfers and freeskiers
• Higher earnings potential by sharing revenues with advertisers based on the shared performance of their ad creative combined with your site
• Full control over everything on your site, choosing the campaigns and tracking their performance to monitor earnings

The first campaigns are live!

• We focus on boardsports ensuring you get specific advertising that fits your content and appeals to your users
• We negotiate commissions for you ranging from 5% to 15%

NOKIA Air and Style / Freecaster.tv – big air event in Munich in December

Boardsport Warehouse – a large online retailer of snowboarding, surfing and skiing equipment

Oxbow – the legendary French surf/snowboarding clothing brand

Rider Discount – large French online retailer of surf, snow and skateboarding gear

Lucozade – the official sports drink of the UK Snowboarding Team

Blah blah blah. Awesome.

I caught this Cocoa Pebbles commercial with Barney skateboarding by accident. The transmission switched to another commercial before this one was actually finished, but I got most of it. If anybody has the full version, please let me know, because there isn’t enough coverage of Barneys skateboarding…

With all the recent posts about Jake Brown and those parents in Medford being idiots indicted, this helmet safety video from Danger Rangers couldn’t have come at a better time. Danger Rangers is horribly cheesy cartoon designed to teach kids about safety. How cheesy? It looks like they spent more money on animating their web site than they do on an entire season of the cartoon. This particular episode’s theme was helmet safety for skateboarding, and it centered around the “Go Games” extreme sports contest. A lot of the cartoons that have skateboarding episodes tend to have X-Games knock-offs as a plot device. I’ve pulled a few highlights, including the awesome music video for “Wear Your Helmet” after the jump.

It has come to our attention that some users are not experiencing the full glory of Skate and Annoy as it was intended. You should be seeing (left) three columns side by side, but it may be showing up (right) as one column stacked on top of two columns. Problem is, I can’t replicate the error, and I’ve tried it with multiple machines, even on Windoze…. Take a minute and leave us a comment if you are seeing it the bogus way on the right. Please include the web browser you are using (version if possible) and what operating system version. Also helpful.. how long has it been that way?

Tony Hawk appears on “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?” tonight at 8pm (7 central). You can watch a few clips on the official Fox web site. Must be a celebrity edition for charity. Tony might be fond of game shows with question marks, as he was also on “Who wants to be a millionaire?” Is he smarter than a 5th grader? Who knows, but one thing is for certain, chances are he’s richer than your dad. Headlines like “Tony Hawk: The “Bird Man” with Hawk-like Vision” have got to make him cringe whether or not the web sites is “dedicated to redefining success.”

This one is electric powered instead of gas powered, and has more car club appeal. The Skate Scepter guy must be pissed, although I’m sure he’d win in a race. Check out the Electric Crusier.

[Source: Gizmodo]

Does that background graphic look familiar? The article is an interview with a well-known fly-fishing personality. I wonder if he has a dark history – he does suggest he might have to kill the interviewer if forced to reveal his fishing plans. thisisfly.com is a web ‘zine targeted at dudes who like to get radical with a flyrod. I am told that the east coast saltwater scene is a more thrill oriented than the freshwater scene. I wonder if these guys are into the PBR rather than the single-malt scotch and briar pipes.

File under poor execution of a good idea. GameDaily has a gallery of images comparing real photos of pro skaters and their Tony Hawk video game series counterparts. Unfortunately only a few of the 11 sets manage to match the “pose.”

Check out these photo mashups showing off Tony and the rest of the cast as they display some of their signature moves, in-game and in real life.

Apparently Bam Margera’s real life signature move is to sit on his ass, while his video game signature is a benihana. The best matching sets are Tony Hawk and Ryan “Mr Awesomely Humble” Sheckler, as shown above. Only if you are bored. GameDaily is a super slow loader.

I got an email from CSS titled “Ryan Sheckler’s Must-Haves.” First I was grossed out, and then I got curious. Man they are really giving it the hard sell. Buy his crap and you can live just like him kids! Ryan Sheckler signature jeans? FREAKING AWESOME!