Yeah, I don’t know what the hell that means either, but it’s a direct quote from the November issue of Teen Vogue, which has a crush on skateboarders. They’re so dreamy, you know?
Two instances of skateboarding in Teen Vogue’s November 2006 issue. First we’ve got a fashion spread with a puzzling tip for skinny jeans. Skateboarders wear skinny jeans, so they shot it at Owl’s Head skatepark in Brooklyn NY, and they even mention it in the spread. It doesn’t look nearly so cheery on Concrete Disciples.
Next we have teen athlete and sponsored skateboarder Alexis Schempp who is reportedly 13 years old. I want to preface this next comment with a disclaimer. I don’t mean this in a pervy sort of way, but she doesn’t look 13. It’s like they pasted a woman’s head on a teenager. Hmm. Schempp? I’m sure she never hears any Three Stooges jokes.
Hey. It’s Kirsten Dunst. I hear she rules in Marie Antoinette. Wow, I need to study up on the layering effect of minis, shorts, boots and tights. How did they know?
32 comments
DEATH BEFORE DISMEMBERMENT
This thread still cracks me up for the simple fact that my parody of these retards was completely lost on them.
I blatently mocked them and not a one picked up on it, in fact NEW RETARDS are still posting the same incoherent babble.
Great.Our future genre of skaters comes complete with a teenage lobotomy, fuckin brats. c u latr, sk8tr kids
Ryan Heckler
Lulu, Shut the fuck up and take your stupid ass back to elementary school and learn how to fucking spell……
lulu
this is sadd
a famous mag writes articles & stuff bout ur sport
& u av nuthin but bd stuff 2 say??
hmmm
its like ur sooo so desprate nt 2 b main stream
ul try & shut ever1 out
teen vouge fan
I bet dat “SKATER” cant even skate if not why is she not skatin on the cover !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bravo Delta
Girl skaters rock; it takes alot of time and commitment to get good at skateboarding…BUT…lets not start with the whole ” u r not even sponsurd” garbage. i know some peopel who have been skating for years, and are able to do everything from handrails to handplants but they will never land a sponser because of job, school, location, etc. No offense to Alexis, but if she wants to come to Okinawa I will totally take her up on the game of S-K-A-T-E challenge. How’s mini-ramp sound? Paper, scissors, rock for trick set. You down?
ONEOFALEXIS'SBESTFRIENDSTHATMEANSLIKEIKNOWHEROK?
idk but it seemz lyke u r gel-us about her just cuz she is prity and skaters butter than u, u thimk u r so kewl but ur not!!i bett your not evun sponsered so yo! lets play a game of sk8 i bet u like couldnt even do a kickflup!!!!omg! i just like totally crapped my diaper i think its running down my leg….
Kilwag
Repeat after me:
Iam sofa king weetodd it.
oneofalexis'sbestfriends
ummm, u gize r just total lusers, I totally no her omg,she wuld vomit at like how old you are,its disgusting.you r not sponsored either sew u should just quit b4 you die or sumting, kilwak…ps: i acktuly no her, and she is sponsord so u dont no anything about her!!!!! pss:did i menton i know her and im her friend?!! u guyz cant get no gurlz thats why!!! expect kerain and christina
JAKEFERRANTI
uh shut up why not, she is skater spectakular very good she is kuz i know her all my life and i come help her why not but she wul nayver give interiews to you stupid peepole…expect kerain and christina
eric
Alexis is the real deal. Make no mistake. I have seen her skate from day one. She has a good work ethic and will continue to thrive in the sport. Skater girl indeed.
bailgun
why are people sticking up for someone who isn’t being made fun of?
oh yeah, because our educational system is failing miserably.
tab
uh shut up people i known alexis all my life and you guys are just mean people expect kerain and christina
Conahan
Too many words. If we wanted to read, we
House of Neil
kilwag, why argue wth the mentally challenged?
Kilwag (k.ed)
Kieran, don’t be a putz. Nobody said she couldn’t skate. In fact everyone is saying she can.
oldjeff
i think i’ll go watch “fat man on a curb” about 10 more times.
kieran lux
yo NATHAN this is one of alexis’s best friends and actually she is really good so just because she stands on the board weird, doesnt mean she isnt good. you probably suck man. lets settle this in a game of skate bro
P.S. she is sponsored by vans!!! are you sponsored? i dont think so
stephanie
everyone looks good with a skateboared
Kilwag (k.ed)
People! We’ve already established that she actually skates. What we are making fun of is the editorial decisions made by Teen Vogue magazine, and not Alexis Schempp. Alexis… still waiting to hear from you directly!
informed
Google her and you’ll see Alexis has been skating for some time and doing well. – Ari Macropolis also shot the photo – Skate history right there.
Kilwag (k.ed)
Oh my god! Like, you need to, like actually like read the post. Then you’ll like totally fer sure realize we’re not like making fun of her at all.
Christina
All of you need to SHUT-UP thats like my best friend i actually know her unlike you guys who know nothing about her
ok♥
Kilwag (k.ed)
We’re not hating on her. We’re dissing the editorial choices made by the magazine. In fact we’re hoping she contacts us for an interview.
alex
i meant why is everyone hating on her? my bad..
alex
why is hating on dis gurl? is it da fact a female can skate dat bothers guys?? idk but it seems lyk it to me
Kilwag (k.ed)
But still cute as a button! … as her grandmother would say. I’ll bet she loves that.
Maybe she’ll read this and we can get an interview out of her.
mc
Alexis Schempp apparently is a real skater. well, a real street skater anyway. But still cute as a button!
mc
Jon Benet Ramsey was actually an adult midget undercover for the FBI in the bible belt. Probably assasinated by religious-right deathsquads. Another example of supposed children made up like painted hussies.
Kilwag (k.ed)
Yeah, it’s typical, but then they couldn’t show her all made up. At least they showed her. I don’t know that the Teen Vogue has much of a crossover with girls that actually skate.
chompy
It would be out of the question for them to actually put a picture of her skating… This has many levels of irritation.
Kilwag (k.ed)
Wait a minute, are you doubting the journalistic integrity of Teen Vogue magazine? Well that takes some nerve!
I gotta give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe because my first skateboard was actually my mother’s too. It’s true!
Nathan
The way alexis stands on her deck, isn’t that the official “i can’t skate, but i like to pretend” stance?