SkatersTape

SkatersTape, it may not go up to 11, but is has the word “skater” right in the product name, so you know it’s going to work better than something like duct tape. It starts at $6 a roll, and if you buy in bulk you can get a case of 12 rolls at a discount for just $6 a roll. SkatersTape is so dedicated to passing the savings on to you that they’re using the same 2 recycled low res action photos on every page. If you forget where to buy it, just scan the handy QR code infinitely repeated on the roll, like a modern day version of the Gator graphic… Just squint your eyes. Do you remember Gator? Do you remember QR codes? “If you use skaters tape every time you skate, you can keep your shoes looking like new.” Could they make such a bold claim if it weren’t true? After extensive testing we found that SkatersTape did indeed keep our shoes looking like brand new shoes covered in obnoxious duct tape. But why stop there? Why not make an entire pair of shoes out of SkatersTape? How about a wallet to hold your credit cards so you can order more SkatersTape. Make an iPhone case to aid in scanning the QR code for the web site. While you’re at it, fashion a pair of skinny jeans so you don’t wear out the ass and knees when bailing on all those 20 stairs. OLD man GVK keeps his vert shoes on life support for years, and with SkatersTape he’ll be able to stretch that to decades.

– Thanks to MC for the tip.

Ta-dah!