Lord on Board is an 8″ tall plastic resin figure sculpted by Abell Octovan. He allegedly sells them for $160 a piece delivered, although I can’t seem to figure out where, as he doesn’t seem to have an online presence outside of a flickr stream. The board is a separate piece, and his hand is molded to hold it in a standard skater’s grip. Available photographs show no evidence of evil mall grab capabilities, but the dark side of the Force is strong, so you never know. These things look pretty nifty, but $160 is a special kind of crazy. Then again vinyl toy collecting is a strange phenomenon. At least theses guys can play with their collectables with in reason and they’ll still look like NOS. I’ve often wondered about the copyright ramifications of slapping Darth Vader’s head on a skateboard toy and selling it, but the folks over at the Official Star Wars Blog don’t seem to be too upset.

– Thanks to Concretin Nik for the tip.

Bathroom vanity fixture made from a skateboard and what I assume has to be off-the-shelf electrical parts. This would be OK for a skatepark, skateshop, or kid’s bathroom I suppose, but it definitely falls under the category of something I might think was cool as an adolescent but wouldn’t want to have around me on a daily basis. I mean, I love skateboarding, but I don’t need to look at them while I’m evacuating waste from my body. Unless it’s a skate zine to pass the time while I’m otherwise engaged. $245 from ZAL Creations.

– Thanks to MC for the tip.

Listen you little brats, how many times do I have to yell at you? For the love of Pete, that skateboard ramp bed is not for jumping! It’s for laying there and thinking about skateboarding. I swear I’ll get out the belt if I hear you muttering about how a $1000 might have been better spent if you slept on the floor and took that money and built something you could actually skate on instead. I’ll give you an X-treme!™ paddling on your behind if I catch you reenacting certain scenes from the Search for Animal Chin. If Tommy Guerrero didn’t jump off a bridge than you shouldn’t either! How the “H” “E” double hockey sticks is that pronounced anyway? Is all that rock-rap rave music making you deaf? I told you it’s one and a half syllables, with a soft “b” instead of a two word concatenation like ramp-bed. What are you, a maroon? In my day we slept under the platforms of the Clown Ramp… Called ourselves Art and Steve Godoy and were happy about it.

– Thanks to Sarib Khalsa for the tip.

Download Spotify and the disk image opens up with a little skateboard on it, at least on a Mac it does. Or at leastit did for MC, because it didn’t for me. But they do have the image on the download page after you register. Seems like a somewhat interesting service. Another music cloud, but I like the ability to collaborate on playlists, plus they’ve got hooks into Facebook so good luck Google Plus. On second thought, they have nothing to worry about. I downloaded it and installed it. It was embarassing to find out how many of my (actual) friends were already on it via the Facebook hook. The only thing worse was the fact that I couldn’t get a single damned track to play, not even their welcome-to-the-service playlist. Sheesh.

Just don’t stray too far from the approved hoverboarding facilities… I know the supercooled exhaust is there for reasons of physics (I assume) but it also nice retro-futuristic icing on the hovering cake. Premiers tests du skate à lévitation supraconductrice construit à l’université Paris Diderot-Paris7. Hey, that’s French for Back to the Future!

– Thanks to Andrew Wahl for the tip.

And there’s really carving. Sa ka roulé has a lot of pictures combined with a lot of words that I can’t read either. It’s a downhill board that looks sharp, heavy, and fast. This is at least the third post I’ve done on skateboards carved out of a solid block of wood, but it’s not the last. I’ve got another one in language I can read coming up shortly. Sadly, it’s also not the first time I’ve used the carving joke.

Skreech in the New York Times? Why not? He’s already the subject of one (possibly two?) documentary film. So the The New York Times is right on top of the (latest) recession-as-silver-lining for pool skaters story, so my condolences to everyone in California because it must be officially over now. (You are a child of Summer and Winter is coming…) Salba quote? Check. How does he do it? Must be a state law. Reporters have to declare it at customs. I see you’re doing a story on pool skating, can I see your Salba Documents? Watch the trailer for Dragonslayer after the jump.

[Photo – Billy Runaway]

This week’s Shot of the Week comes from Micah Breshears, and it’s Chris White, as seen at Burnside. Much better on the enlarge-o-rama.