I was geeking out over at Gizmodo when I noticed a skateboard in a web advert for the Toyota Matrix. There’s a scene at an imaginary extreme!™ sports complex that you are invited to shake up with your mouse. If you do, everything goes haywire but the car stays glued to the road. After a bit of time everything gets shaken off screen and the ad tells you to stick to the road with available all wheel drive. Then it says “get in touch with your dark side,” which near as I can judge form the advert, must mean if there is an earthquake you should ditch your skateboard and ride BMX bikes on a half pipe.

What’s wrong with this picture, besides the fact that you can’t figure out why it’s here?

Nau clothing company (not just another outdoor company) is using skateboarding on the entry page to their web site, as well as some banner ads in rotation elsewhere. They’ve got sustainable design philosophies, partnerships, and a code of conduct all designed to get you to spend $148 on pair of jeans. They are Portland based, and they’ve done a good job of making the images as non-location specific as possible, but it looks like Pier Park to me. Wouldn’t be the first time. Actually, before I got kicked off Youtube, I was preparing to upload a razor scooter commercial shot at Newberg! Visit the Nau web site to buy expensive skateboarding jeans, archived for posterity after the jump. – Thanks to Ben T for the tip.

While some braniacs write about skateboarding, others are using it to trick poor defenseless little kids into learning about math. Math and skateboarding just don’t mix. Ok, that’s not true. But since I can’t read this German public service advert about math, I have to make up something. Closer to home, the Oregon Museum of Science and Industryjust got a $2.9 million grant for a traveling exhibit called Access Algebra to stoke middle-school kids to “promote creativity and innovation and build math literacy… …focusing on math as a tool to create and invent everything from rap music to race cars to a skate park.” – Thanks to Dave Tobin for the tip. $2.9 million seems like a lot of dough. Maybe someone at the National Science Foundation needs to work on their math a little. The Germans are ahead of the game already. They’ve got a web site and a video trailer for what I guess is their math museum. I’ve heard they aren’t too good at math, all their answers come up Nien! (Sorry.) [Source: Red Box via Skateboardgeruechte.de ]

Check out the Travis Bickle looking rugrat in these catalog shots for Knuckleheads Clothing. These guys are also sponsoring that weird skate demo at the motorcycle show. Hey, I’ve got rugrats too. They sure would look good in some of that. Hint. Hint.

What about all the skateboarding Jews? We just don’t see Hanukka skateboarding marketing tie ins like we do with Christmas. Jew, Gentile, regular, goofy… it’s all the same. I don’t even know when Hanukkah is, it’s probably over already. Here’s an Israeli TV commercial for what looks like an exploding energy bar that blatantly rips off the Girl Yeah Right! video. Who knows, Maybe Spike Jonze directed this one too.

I was cleaning out the hard drive and I found this picture of a Maxwell House billboard taken in July of 2000. I guess they are implying that adults could lead a more fulfilling life if they did a little downhill on a longboard. Dress respectfully, of course, then click to enlarge.

In a moment of weakness I must have blacked out and sleep walked over to a computer where I bought this 1965 magazine advertisement for Mademoiselle Shoes. I don’t know what magazine it came from because the jackals that dissect these old magazines and sell individual pages online don’t bother to catalog this information. In fact, I think the page size may have been trimmed at the very edges to remove any identifying marks. After all, there are no staple marks visible, although it could have been perfect bound. I can’t tell for certain because the purveyor is curiously absent minded to any of my questions that aren’t “What else do you have for sale?” I paid $13 plus shipping. My wife is annoyed and insists I’d better frame it or else it will be a waste of money. Of course framing it will cost more than the advert. Click to enlarge. Bonus points if you can reference the title of this post in it’s original context and the song it was sampled in. No cheating.

I was reading a story in the San Jose Mercury News about a girl who died after falling off the tenth floor of a parking garage that said her crew skated. She wasn’t skating at the time. Anyway, on the side of the page there was an advert for an email marketing company called Constant Contact that caught my eye because there was a skateboard flipping around in the box. It ended up with a still of the new millennium Business Skater Dude. Somewhere, if he was dead, Judge Reinhold would be spinning in his grave, seeing as how he was the 80’s archetype in the movie poster for Vice Versa. Vice Versa is one of those body exchanging movies like Freaky Friday. And while we are on the subject, it wasn’t the only body switching movie to come out 1988. 18 Again! came out the same year but is more notable (for us at least) for having a simulated live performance and soundtrack appearance by legendary funny punks The Dickies, who also have a skateboard model out now, albeit about 20 years too late to do them any good. George Burns was in that movie. I think he may…

Speaking of finding balance: Dear Online Publisher, We have just launched a new boardsport specific affiliate network featuring: Cool advertising campaigns targeted at snowboarders, skateboarders, surfers and freeskiers Higher earnings potential by sharing revenues with advertisers based on the shared performance of their ad creative combined with your site Full control over everything on your site, choosing the campaigns and tracking their performance to monitor earnings The first campaigns are live! We focus on boardsports ensuring you get specific advertising that fits your content and appeals to your users We negotiate commissions for you ranging from 5% to 15% NOKIA Air and Style / Freecaster.tv – big air event in Munich in December Boardsport Warehouse – a large online retailer of snowboarding, surfing and skiing equipment Oxbow – the legendary French surf/snowboarding clothing brand Rider Discount – large French online retailer of surf, snow and skateboarding gear Lucozade – the official sports drink of the UK Snowboarding Team Blah blah blah. Awesome.