Through the magic of the Interweb!™ I am able to bring you this heart wrenching tale of a columnist for the Icelandic Review who wants to learn how to skateboard in the worst way. So I’m here to make a plea to the little 12-year-old bros or any of you living in Iceland proficient (and patient) enough: teach me how to skateboard.. I’m not sure why she wants to learn from 12 year olds. Perhaps Icelandic teens have better things to do. She’ll need a loaner board while she decides whether or not she’s in it for the long haul. For your troubles, she’ll take you to dinner or buy you some “skate stuff.” Failing skateboarding, she also needs a place to live, and I’m guessing a date with someone her own age to keep out of jail.

Let’s see, directional surfboard shape and no kicktail or upturned nose. Looks like that skateboard is stuck in 60’s. At least it’s 10 years ahead of the general feel of the comic strip. Did you know that daddy once had a drinking problem?

It’s true, the helmet saved his life. Of course the article doesn’t get into why the kid was laying on his skateboard, rolling head first into the street. Jace was playing at the friend’s house a week ago, riding a skateboard “skeleton” – lying on his stomach and going headfirst down the friend’s driveway and into the street. The “daredevil,” as his mother Julie Muir calls him, didn’t see the car coming. I’m not sure if “daredevil” is what I would call this kid, but I’m glad he’s alive. I can only hope my kids don’t do something that stupid when they grow up.

The Hardy Boys have been in need of an image overhaul ever since that unfortunate peeping-tom conviction. Gone are the days of titles like “The Missing Chums” and “The Mystery of Cabin Island.” Now they aren’t even books, they are graphic novels. Check out #8 in the series, the just released Board to Death. Sure it looks like it was drawn in the 80’s, but it actually just came out this month. I wonder if the fact that they were riding coffin shaped boards was a coincidence or a tribute to the fact that Frank and Joe Hardy are old school. I wonder if Chet get’s hit in the solar plexus? I wonder what a solar plexus is?

I try to refrain from commenting on shoe stuff as a rule, which is why we didn’t mention Lance Mountain jumping ship to Nike SB (oops, too late). Here’s an article in the OC Register showcasing the opulent wealth of Sole Technologies owner Pierre André Senizergues. It’s a feature that is kind of like MTV’s Cribs for a-holes. Eat the rich. Pierre André Senizergues lived in a van when he arrived in California from France as a young man of 21. He spent his days in the sunshine, skateboarding at the beach. At night, he’d move from parking lot to parking lot until he found a safe spot to sleep. Now, 22 years later, he owns four homes, including two waterfront locations in Newport Beach. Along the way, he built a $200 million skateboard-shoe company in Lake Forest, Sole Technology Inc.

You will notice some changes this month. Because it’s my column and I can do what I want, I’m dropping some of the usual big $$ boards because I’m sick of looking at them. No skull and snake McGills for example, no Jason Jessees (except for a reissue), no Roskopps (except for a reissue). If I get bored writing about tem every month, I’m sure that you get tired of seeing them. I might bring them back next month, but probably not. I’m going to try to feature some graphics you don’t see as much by some lesser-known skaters. Or team boards. They don’t sell for as much, but it makes life more interesting damnit. Check out April’s eBay Watch.

Skaters in a mural in Portland. Mural also features homeless people.

So fans here is a guy you all should know Tom Miller, aka “Fancy Socks.” Tom is a good guy he really helped with the skatepark stuff so if you ride a skate park in the city limits of P-Town you should say thank you to this guy and others to be named. He can also take care of your parking tickets or “420” tickets.

The Unted States isn’t the only xenophobic country. France has been trying to figure out how keep it real, French, that is, sometimes getting very angry about the dilution of French culture. Certainly not helping his countrymen in this respect, pro (?) skateboarder Jean Postec just signed a deal to endorse the Right Guard® Xtreme line of antiperspirant and deodorant products. Adding insult to injury, the French aren’t exactly known for their use of deodorant in the first place. Why don’t you know who Jean Postec is? Because he’s French and a vert skater!

Over the years I’ve met and spoken with some interesting people that I otherwise wouldn’t have a chance to, were it not for Skate and Annoy. Sometimes I search them out, sometimes they find me. We’ve got a gallery of 70’s skateboard bubblegum trading card stickers, and what better excuse to bring it up than some correspondence with the Jesse Crumb, son of legendary 70’s underground art icon R. Crumb. Jesse runs the official R. Crumb web site, as well as being an artist in his own right. Here’s part of what he had to say: MAN! I have been looking for those cards/decals for 30 years, at least. I grew up in Northern Cal., near Ukiah. There were a few of us into injuring ourselves. A piece of gravel could throw you 10 feet, as you know anyway. So at the local corner store these cards arrived, but in very short supply, and they were COVETED. One guy who got a pack was a really feral kid, parents were complete hippies. My folks were back to the landers, but some of them.. MAN..the kids were just..ON THEIR OWN at, you know 7 years old?? Jeezis.. ANYWAY..So..he climbs the rope…