Amorphous Jelly Babies Skater Dude

– Thanks to David ODK for the tip.

On it’s own, I might not post this guy, unless I already had him in my possession. But something about his amorphous presence is a little disturbing, like some alien sent down to take notes and gradually assimilate and absorb the skateboarding populace into his undulating mass, until he grew to the size of the Stay-Puff marshmallow man. Then there’s the trictionary on the back of the box, often completely wrong or not actually showing the trick it describes. His arm is a lever that opens his backpack for storing Bassett’s Jelly Babies. Very sinister. There’s no date on this, but judging by the board and the description of the item as “vintage” I’m guessing it’s late 90’s or early 00’s. Get yours here.

Make sure before you start skating that you are wearing a helmet, knee & elbow guards in case you ‘slam’.

Skater Dude has encyclopedic knowledge of Regular vs. Goofy.

Not just a manual, but a one-footed manual! Skater Dude looks ready to daffy!

The shove it. Skater Dude has been shoving too many Jelly Babies down his gullet. Nice foot position.

I’m thinking of suing these guys for emotional distress. No matter how accurately I follow these instructions and mimic the diagram, I still can’t ollie. This is pure negligence on the part of Bassett.

Lastly, here’s a description of a hand plant accompanied by what looks like a picture of an oillie onto a handrail. No hands on anything, and no planting.