Made with seven different fruit juices!

And a whole lot of corn syrup! Now that I have a kid I have to start paying attention to these so-called fruit snacks, which are usually nothing more than a nominal amount of fruit inside a wad of something slightly less soluble than horse hooves. Mr Jelly Belly Fruit Snacks! Check out the packaging and pointless comments after the jump.

This is a Kirkland product, available only at Cosco to my knowledge, which means you have to buy a box that holds like two gross of them or something.

At first glance I thought he was doing a tail grab on a frontside ollie, but the faint motion trail would indicate Mr Belly – just Jelly to his friends – is doing some sort of fakie to nose grab. Unless of course, this picture was taken with some sort of phenomenal and new-fangled cartoon camera with a traditional front curtain flash sync. Are those old OJ’s he’s riding or Yo-Yo’s? The unstrapped helmet means that parent company Wal Mart is concerned only about the appearances of propriety in following the letter of the park laws… Hey man, I’m wearing a helmet. You’re not the boss of me! Of course Mr Belly has no chin.

The shapes are truly unrecognizable for the most part. Why do those food manufacturers torture the little kids with cruel promises of Extremeâ„¢ food that does not look rad? Why do I have the time to write these posts?