Finger pants! Finger pants!

Skateboarding begat fingerboards. Fingerboards begat tiny plastic ramps. Tiny plastic ramps begat… FINGER PANTS!!!!!!! Actually, these Finger Pants aren’t exactly new. Back in the 80’s there was a fingerboard sold that came with a glove that you wore. The glove had the upper torso of what looked by a Ken doll attached to it. Two of the fingers were cut off and were decorated like little Hawaiian shorts. It also came with a pair of tiny plastic shoes and socks molded in one piece. It’s something I have in a box somewhere, but that’s never here, nor there. These came from Wall Mart. There’s a URL listed on the package, but the skatemonstertoy.com domain appears to have expired. It’s such a great product, they had to name it twice. Finger Pants, and Shred Threads! Look at the illustration. If these pants fit to scale, the top of your junk would be visible. Awesome.

Four pairs of Old Navy cargo shorts on sale now for one low price!

What’s that guy hiding in his shred threads? Whatever it is, it looks obscene.

I left these out and my four year old son saw them while I was at work. My told him he had to wait until I go home to ask if he could open them, but the temptation was too much. He snuck them into his room and opened them under the covers in his bed.