Everyone Stares: The Police Inside Out

Everyone Stares: The Police Inside Out (DVD)

Directed by: Stewart Copeland Movie
Released: 2006
Format: DVD

I had high hopes for this one considering the eccentric Copeland pedigree and the fact that he taught me the only dance move a kid ever needed to know in the “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” video. But expectations are only really a way to make you feel like you know what’s coming next when you don’t (Something to…Husker!) Made entirely from Stewart’s exhaustive Super-8 footage from back in the day, the whole movie makes the editing in the 3-minute Radio Clash video look like Oscar material. Copeland narrates the film and just sounds corny- and I hate that word but it really fits here. Footage of sheep and chickens set to Police tunes? Even his accompanying pun “Can’t Stand Losing Ewe” would have been tons funnier if it was “The Bed’s Too Big Without Ewe”. On the positive side, it is pretty cool to see “the filming of the filming” of shoestring videos like Da Doo Doo Doo, Da Da Da Da and too hear Copeland’s comments like “I know that this lifestyle is abnormal because I just realized I haven’t had to buy groceries in the last 4 years.”

Sting is an nth-power prima donna as expected. He primps before meeting screaming fans, harasses poor old Andy Summers, and sticks his tongue down the throat of a young fan “because he can” Caligula-style. In another gem of a scene, he is narcissistically rocking out with his base in the control room to some Ghost in the Machine filler that he obviously thought was brilliant. There was probably great coke on Montserrat, what do I know. I think Leroy Bach once said “Stink, he betrayed my youth”. Right-o, but he’ll probably outlive us all. I guess the movie wasn’t that bad, hell I had this much to say about it, and Stewart Copeland is still my favorite drummer. Take that Neil Peart!