Check out this 1989 CBS Records compilation titled “Skate Hard.” Nothing says “Skate Hard” in the 80’s like a skeleton shredding the wasteland, or a garbage can for that matter. The board may say early 80’s but the Rectors and fingerless gloves say… well, early to late 80’s as well. It’s got a curious lineup of bands, many that I know and sometimes love, and a few that I’ve never heard of. The vast majority of the acts hail from Australia. There are many that are comparatively well known like the Hard-Ons, Cosmic Psychos, Celibate Rifles, and Screaming Tribesmen. Then there are those that are more (globally) obscure, like Ratcat, Ya Ya Choral, Hitmen, Massappeal, Proton Energy Pills, Voodoo Lust, Hellmen, Psychotic Turnbuckles, Splatterheads, and the Kryptonics. Did the Kryptonics get their name from the wheels? I have not been able to discern this. This compilation seems like a great time capsule of a musical scene in Australia, except for the bands that aren’t only out-of-place geographically, but musically as well. Why include Ozzy Osbourne, Living Colour, The Godfathers, and 24-7 Spyz? Probably because the brass thought those names might expose fans to the Australian scene. Here’s a worthless tidbit…

Australia’s beloved punk/metal/pop group the Hard-Ons (be careful when you google that kids!) just dumped hundreds of tracks on their Bandcamp page. Singles Collection, EP collections, expanded releases… many previously unpublished or only available on vintage vinyl, like this self titled EP shown in cassette form above. I believe this record (pictured above) was one you once had the option to select with your subscription to Thrasher, which was a thing they used to do. If that’s not how I got my copy, I’m pretty sure I bought it based purely on the cover. The punk purist in me had a hard time getting acclimated to metal aspects, but tracks like Girl in a Sweater and Then I Kissed Her definitely appealed to the Descendents and Simpletones fan in me. UPDATED 2-25-21: There’s a Hard-Ons documentary in the works.