This is (un)fortunately not a real action figure. It’s AI and photoshop work done by @hypeverse.

It’s Jesus riding a skateboard! These faux ugly Christmas sweaters that are actually sweatshirts are available from about 100 different online merchants. It’s a shame that Jesus isn’t rendered in the blocky fashion to match the rest of the illustration. – Thanks to Jason Harrison for the tip.

I don’t know what the caption means, and of course, there’s no context or credit for the original over at Memebase.com. It’s Jesus H. Christ on the original (sin) wackyboard. – Thanks to MC for the tip.

While I applaud the simulation of the wide angle lens, (The artist is really in touch with skateboarding!) I feel the need to suggest that Jesus could use a bottle of Nair, or maybe he shouldn’t have shaved his legs in the first place. Hand-holding at the skatepark? I’m ambivalent. Guy curious? [Souce: Pleated-Jeans] – Thanks to Ben Reese for the tip.

Actually, I think the momentum has swung away from Satan, what, with TV shows like the Uprising. This illustration found on Flickr references the old Trident gum TV commercials. I think SNL or someone else did a bit about those commercials. Maybe it was Kids in the Hall. In any case, I’m not a big fan of Satan, because if you beleive in him, then you have to believe in Jesus too. I’m more of a Bob Dobbs or Touched by His Noodly Appendage guy. That shouldn’t stop your from checking out YAIAGIFT’s flickr stream of illustrations. – Uh, thanks to MC for the tip.

Because it’s relevant, and in case you missed the Jesus skateboarding figure. Like all holidays, Easter stuff goes on sale the day after the event. I picked up this Extreme™! Scooby Doo Easter basket last year for about $12, which was down from $30, I believe. Scooby can’t decide if he wants to hit the slalom course or barge a pool.

Jesus Mousepads! Get your Jesus mousepads here! Holeyware is a Café Press store, so it’s not like these are actual mass produced items for sale. Still, it’s nice to know you can buy a mouse pad with Jesus on a bad 80’s skateboard. I mean if he’s really old school, shouldn’t he be on a 70’s deck or even a 60’s plank with steel wheels. Actually, your Lord and Saviour is from the New Testament, so he’s really more New School, like this Jesus on a hand rail action figure. I think my source for this post is actually upset about this.

I was going to title this post “It’s reigning Jesus” or “It’s raining (religious) men” but instead I used a quote from an article in the Anchorage Press titled “Excuse me while I kiss the sky.” It’s a heartwarming tale of an 18 year old kid in Anchorage who is fighting the Alaskan weather and racial prejudice on journey to become a professional skateboarder. Sounds like a Hallmark movie. Oh yeah, the whole point of this post is Stephen Baldwin in Russia (!?!) holding a religious-themed skateboard [Source: Perez Hilton] and even better, (Is that possible?) a series of Jesus action figures engaged in Extreme!™ sports, not to mention panhandling (?!) , bull-riding, and in army fatigues(!!?!?!). All this plus a Jesus in skateboarding roundup, or hoedown, if you will, after the jump.

OK, We might lose a few readers with this post, but the Zombie Jesus pro model from Creature made me chuckle. It reminded me of those equally tasteless but funny rock concert t-shirts from the 80’s that said “Adolf Hitler World Tour.” The best part was on the back where it listed the tour dates and locations. The England entry said “Cancelled.” I’m actually kind of surprised Creature is selling these. I’m guessing they hope to avoid too much controversy by keeping them limited to 500 pieces. Or possibly, the artwork is so crappy, that’s all they think they can sell. This board gets an “A” for the concept and a “C minus, minus” for execution. Really. It looks like hell. Actually, the only thing keeping this board from being completely uninteresting (aside from the whole blasphemy thing) is the marketing. It’s being released on Good Friday and You can’t “Passover” this insanse-o limited release.