How long will it be before AI robs us of hilarious translations for cheap Chinese products? It’s entirely possible that “Interactive fun happy parent-child time” makes sense. There’s always “It is not easy to swing even in situations of eccentricity or weight change” to fall back on. I love that the top graphic on this coaster board is a happy dinosaur riding a skateboard. This mostly looks like a good way to hurt a small child. If you want to hurt a small child you can buy one of these on Amazon. The product title includes “skateboard” but the description has a more catch name, a rebalancing board.

Oof, yeah. Sorry about that post title. Normally this is the kind of thing I would be practically tripping over myself to make fun of, but for a certain segment of the population, this makes a lot of sense. This is Ookkie, “The World’s First Learner Skateboard.” Is this product necessary? No. But if you think about all the brightly colored push and ride toys out there for toddlers, why not make it a skateboard? You can use it with the “adult” handle for control, with just the kid handle once they are more comfortable, and without the handle at all before they move on to a real skateboard, if they do at all. No, these guys did not pay me for product placement. Yes, this is at odds with my own opinion that skateboarding in the Olympics is silly. I am going to call bullshit on the advertised “specially designed trucks” that are lightweight and turn easy. What they meant to say was “cheaply produced since the baseplate is part of the plastic deck.” Who makes this? You’ll be slightly surprised.

There are a lot of skateboard themed decorative light switch covers out there. Most of them are bad, and some of them are really bad, but at least one of them is amazing. There is only one, Señor Skateboard. – Thanks to David Maes for the tip.

Kinder Em-Eukal makes cough drops and sweets and has a mascot named Felix. The packaging was designed by an agency called Milk Food. So far Felix has been spotted with an orange, blue, and yellow skateboard. Thanks to… I want to say… David Maes for the tip?

Sure, Mr. Potao head may be on roller blades on the cover, but there are skateboarders on the inside. What’s the diff? I don’t know, Playskool, you tell me.

I’m so excited, I’m about to wet myself. Mom, can I go on it? CAN I, CAN I, CAN I, CAN I, CAN I???? This gently used “Huge Commercial Inflatable Skate Slide~Bouncer~Halfpipe~Skateboard Ollie Kid!!!!” can be yours at a buy it now price of $3,249.99. Now’s your chance to get the halfpipe you’ve always wanted Grover! Is that an early Street League logo on the side of the ramp? What kind maneuver is that anyway? – Thanks to Josh at BPA for the tip.

Matt Christopher is the “#1 Sports Writer for Kids” according to his bio. Danimal sent me the braille addition of Skateboard Renegade that he rescued from the trash. Buzz cut or ponytail? Grunge look? Tattoo, body paint, or earring? How about none of the above? When Zach takes up skateboarding, he doesn’t realize that he’s expected to look a certain way — and cop a certain attitude, too. At least that what it seems like. But Zach just isn’t comfortable with any of these things; he wants to skateboard for the fun of it, and maybe take part in a few competitions. Will he be ostracized because he looks and acts so “normal”? Or will his decision to stay true to himself mark him as a renegade, the very attitude his skateboarding buddies will appreciate? Oh, the irony of being an outcast amongst outcasts for not embracing being a stereotype. I’m not sure why anyone would throw away a braille book, I would imagine the demand would exceed the supply, so this story must have been especially bad. See the Skateboard Renegade braille edition plus two other sighted edition covers after the jump.

Pillows shaped like skateboards, with skateboard prints on them. OK, sure, why not but what’s confusing is the list of pros with their own pillow boards: Christian Hosoi,Daewon Song, Sean Malto, Chris Cole and Guy Mariano? No slight against their notoriety or achievement levels, I’m more thinking about the age range of the target market. I suppose if they follow the Street League they’d definitely know. Weird second rate graphics too. On the plus side, they’ve got a boy who skates like a man in the promo video.

The Pink Helmet Posse, courtesy of the Daily Mail. These kids rip! When you’re done watching this video, don’t forget to drop into Norms. – Thanks to Maureen Swan for the tip.

Little girls intimidating grown men, as seen in a TV commercial for Norms Restaurants in California. The rider is Annika Vrklan. [Source: Hoopla Skateboards]