You can quickly got down a rabbit hole when you start searching for skateboards on those Chinese import sites. Here’a couple of beauties: A children’s skateboard with the Spanish word for puberty, and some World Industries and Santa Cruz knockoffs. It’s important to remember that brand products are beautiful, flexible in performance, stable in quality, novel and complete in style. And as always, dangerous actions, please play under guidance of professionals. Bonus Baker knockoffs after the jump.

A: Because they come from China and wholesale for less than $1 a piece. Seriously, would it kill them to make the seats a little deeper so that the tool doesn’t become useless if you’ve got really soft bushings or want to tighten things down for a mega ramp session? I get unsolicited emails from Chinese companies all the time, trying to sell me plastic skateboards, cheap decks, trucks, wheels, and even authentic (?) “Bones” bearings, all on the cheap. “Swiss” bearings imported from china, including packaging. Thanks Dwindle.

A random sample of email I get form companies in China trying to sell me skateboards. I thought I had posted this before but it didn’t show up when I searched for Elephant. The “blog” section of Skate and Annoy has been running for about 10 years now… it’s hard to keep track of this stuff. Nothing says Christmas like an elephant jumping over the great wall of China on a plastic skateboard.

This is an actual attachment in an email I got from a random Chinese skateboard manufacturer.

You don’t have to go all the way to… Wal-Mart to buy… Chinese skateboards straight from your skate shop to… Aw hell. I can’t figure out how to spin this. Chip Atkins went on vacation to Nicaragua. I only know one other person who has done that, hail GVK! While in a supermarket in Managua, Chip found a real nice skateboard. That’s not dollars, hombre, thats’s Cordoba. This board costs about $12. And no, the title of this post is not me trying to get a date with Chip, I’m quoting Midwest punk rock circa 1985. Name that band for a noprize. Void where prohibited. Residents of Illinois, Indiana, Wisconsin and Michigan are disqualified. Thanks to Chip Atkins for the tip. Hey, he works at a bike shop. In the spirit of the holiday season everyone jump all over him and give him a hard time.