Thunder Cop joins us as number three in the Non-Fall Action series of craptacular skateboard toys. Part terminator, part CHiPs, all priceless. Well, not priceless actually, this battery powered skateboard toy from 1989 could have been yours for under $20 delivered. The figure is actually anatomically correct this time, so the real joy comes from the packaging from Feng DYI Enterprise Corp, which is still in business. The best part, the policeman pointing a gun at your face is riding a skateboard with a smiley face on it. Have a nice day!

Zach Friendly gets tattooed by his buddy Rusty. He may make poor life decisions, but at least he’ll get a free t-shirt out of the experience, and his face immortalized on Skate and Annoy. I’m very humbled. Thanks for your support Zach!

The Lynch Family Skatepark is seeing some real progress after a ceremonial groundbreaking in 2014. According to WBUR, it’s a $3 million, 40,000 square foot plan designed by California Skateparks. It’s another sizable park built under a bridge in a relatively barren area. Enjoy an animated render after the jump, or check out some construction pics from Boston Skateboarder’s gallery on facebook. [Photo: Charles River Conservancy]

Bow before my arcane knowledge of useless skateboard related information. This Valterra Rad-isaurus looks suspiciously similar to Denver the Last Dinosaur. Both appear to be released in 1988, although I can’t tell for sure about the Valterra board, the copyright is hard to read. They both appear to be the similar species, and they both wear mohawks and sunglasses, but only the Rad-isaurus has pants. Denver is obscene! Won’t someone please think of the children? Follow me dear readers, and we will tackle the question that archeologists have been pondering for decades: “What happens when a group of pop-a-wheely, BMXer, fun-loving, skateboarding, and rock-music-listening contemporary kids open an ancient dinosaur egg?”

Tank treads on a skateboard. I don’t think this is a new Idea. I believe there was a motorized prototype or two (or three) quite a while ago. This promo video declares the Rockboard Descender as the future of skateboarding, which might be true provided you’re only interested in going downhill at relatively slow speeds. Those treads make this thing fast as a snail. That’s friction for you. If you really want to ride off road, just get those big oversized dirt wheels that have been around in one form or another since the 70’s. I’m actually very excited these are being mass produced. One day, one of them will turn up at the Good Will. – Thanks to Josh at BPA for the tip.

Jay Schmetz paints a lot of animals in domestic settings. In addition to a beaver brushing his teeth, he has also painted a fair amount of skateboarding creatures. Most of the animal shredders are dogs, but you’ll also find the occasional pig, cat, rabbit, elephant, cow, or sheep. If you become enamored of them you can buy various reproductions and originals. My two favorites are at the top. Something about an Elephant on a skateboard is already funny, but when you throw in a handstand… Well, that’s art!

Khunamokwst skate spot is a lot of fun. It’s small, and tricky to navigate when overrun with kids, but everyone seems to love it. There’s a problem with the sprinkler overspray, but when have landscapers and skateparks ever worked well together? Some kids can’t seem to walk the extra 40 feet to the nearest garbage can, which is unfortunate. Then there’s the somewhat arbitrary placement of skate stoppers on the outside of the park. I get it. They’re trying to protect pedestrians from errant skateboarders on the outside ledge. It’s still amusing though. You can session the hell out of this one specific section of the continuous outside ledge, but not the largest stretch of it. Even though it’s the same ledge… on a skatepark.

Tony Hawk for the the Sony Action Cam, otherwise known as a Go Pro camera with an awkward form function. The promo video on loop in the display features Tony Hawk and Lizzie Armanto, selfie sticks and and even a bracket for mounting it under a skateboard. I should have got a screen cap of that bracket, as it looks like there is no skateboard specific bracket, but the video did briefly show a camera snapping into a bracket in front of the rear truck. I ‘d like to see how the made it work with their universal bracket. “Retired” sports figures are still used to sell products, but Tony’s the only one who can still perform up to the standards that made him famous in the first place. He’s not standing around with a bottle of talcum powder like Shaq.

A very polite and apologetic “No Skateboarding” sign. It’s as if they feel bad about it. It’s not really skate harassment, but more like skate empathy. “We’re sorry, we wish you could skate here, but you cannot.” In my mind I hear that with a Canadian accent. – Thanks to John E for the photo

If I win this auction I will scan it and post a better quality picture. That’s just the type of nerd I am. This is a Winnipeg Manitoba Canada mass transit pass from 1979. I would call BS on the date based on the illustration were it not for the fact that the seller has a ton of other passes with the same illustration style from the same time period. – Thanks to Josh (who is still killing it at BPA) for the tip.