If I had checked my Google alerts in the past month I might have already known that Zoo York (Not a fan) is planning a Jenna Jameson model. To promote it, they had somebody craft this really clever advert (Am a fan). To write about it, I made a not-so-clever and extremely obvious reference to the title of a world famous adult film. To illustrate it, I took the advert and butchered it to fit in our size constraints. Sorry guys. They did such a good job they are getting lots of attention in the advertising world. When is it, err, coming? No word. Head to the source to see the whole thing… uh, larger. [Source: Nick Papageorgia(!) on Why Me]

Dear God! Make it stop! Please! I know we covered this government safety publication before, but I found it online right next to this nightmare inducing picture of a clown on rollerblades chasing some children. Still not safe enough? Check out this article from the Boise Weekly explaining how “How longboarding makes you faster and more dangerous on the hills.” No, I should not have said “speaking of clowns.”

Scott Starr has amassed an impressive amount of historical surfing and skateboarding films. Unlike some of us (me) who just press a record button, he has transferred film stock to video. And unlike some of us (me), he hasn’t gotten kicked off of YouTube. He used to have a web site but the domain has been expired for some time. He’s got some great artifacts though, and is more or less the classy version of what I do here with more recent commercials. The watermark is a little intrusive, but I suppose it has to be, or jerks like me would be paoching his footage constantly. Check out this 1978 video for skate safety, which features a truly bitchin’ corny soundtrack especially made for the film, and a few shots that look like NAMBLA material or out takes from a Larry Clark film. Watch Skate Safe. [Source: The Vans Blog]

How was February where you live? Here in Chicago it sucked ass. It has been the worst winter for snow that I can remember, and February was the worst month yet. We’ve hadAbout 60” of snow so far this winter: the average is 40”, making it in the top 5 worst winters in 80 years. And when it gets done dumping snow on us, then the temperature plummets to zero, making it icy and just miserable. Basically what I’m saying is, if you’ve gotten any skating in this winter you’re lucky. Lots of us haven’t. By the way, even though I write this column every month, I want to thank Kilwag for getting it up on Skate and Annoy. I don’t know what all is involved in the back end, but he does a great job on the site and I appreciate all he does or this column. Thanks. Let’s get to it.

People love to complain about the frequency of advertisements in Thrasher and Transworld. When I first started reading Thrasher one of the things I liked about it was pouring over all the small ads in the back for all the obscure companies. When I acquired a stack of old Skateboarder and Action Now, looking at all the ads for funky skateboards and accessories was more interesting than the actual articles. Now I’m going to propose that you check out a magazine full of nothing but advertisements. Concrete Wave has been publishing a Buyers Guide for some years now. If there’s one place where you can pour over ads for obscure companies making odd skateboard products, this is it. Take the ad for Paris Trucks (Insert Ms hilton rides hard joke), above right. Who knew there was such a company? OK, lot’s of people that probably travel in a different circle. It’s actually a funny advert. They’ve decided to make an environmentally progressive “green” skateboard truck. In order reduce the carbon footprint as much as possible, they’ve gone to the extreme lengths of not actually producing the truck. I am amused. The buyers guide is a print issue with no less…

Hectic in Seattle sent in some pictures that have nothing to do with each other, well at least two of them do. He thanked me for my time and consideration. I am thanking him for the pictures. Clockwise: John “Grizz” Vallio at the cancer bowl in the Hills circa 1997. Danny Roland at the Tidy Bowl in Hell Paso, Texas. Dave Tobin at Tedders. Clay at his own house. You can see them enlarged after the jump.

What are the Poles up to? About the same thing as skaters everywhere. As part of our ongoing cultural exchange we bring you a link to Poland’s System Skateboard Magazine. I wish it had a more Polish sounding name. It’s got some high quality skate photography but in some areas it’s not quite as slick as the majors. For example, there are surely some talented skaters featured, but drawing from more limited pool means there is the occasional shot that seems out of place in such glossy production. There are plenty of American companies tainting advertising, which might seem odd were it not for the fact that the parent company of System is the sole Polish distributor of some of those brands. I tried to get them to bite on Cold War since there is one graphic that combines elements lifted straight from the Polish Air Force, as well as Solidarity party. The suggestion was politely ignored, but hey, it’s hard for me to turn down a fellow Pole. When I was in Warsaw in 1991 or ’92 I didn’t see a single skateboard there, but I found a flyer for what I think was a Polish skate rock band.…

The anonymous cell phone picture poster at Sleestak picked up some a transmission of the completed snake run at Lincoln City. If you can’t get in to Sleestak see them, EPM has reposted a selection as well. The top shot is not at all what I expected it to look like, although I’m sure it will be different in person. Hooray!

SeattleSkateparks.org posted some recent pictures of the much maligned Lower Woodland skatepark under construction in Washington. I wonder if that roll in qualifies as one of those super-features I’ve been hearing about…. Sahli powers activate! UPDATE: Latest set – Earlier set – Layout (Apparently not final) – Thanks to Tony D. for the tip.

It’s a Boston morning here on SnA. The St Charles River skatepark that was designed by Wormhoudt, Inc. will be built by Grindline. That’s an interesting combination to say the least. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions. This separate design and build contractor has me stymied though. I realize it’s due to state laws, but just think of the extra concrete you could afford by hiring the same firm to design and build. It’s $40,000 square feet, and no, those funnels aren’t some sort of ill conceived public arts expenditure. They are the support pillars for the highway overhead. Here in Portland we have some expensive river front property under Interstate 5 that would be well suited for a massive skatepark. Right now it seems to only be used for hosting the Cirque Du Soleil once a year. Yeah, this is old news from December. – Thanks to Tom Miller for the tip.