More skateboarding jests courtesy of The Onion. Youcan see some past jibes here and here. – Thanks to Colin for the… Wait up. Get off the interwebs and finish your next interview!

The Tony Hawk Action FIgure, narrowly beating out the seemingly fan favorite Outhouse. The winning story ends with Concretin Nik getting a free board, so now he’s gotten another one out that story… If I had to guess I’d say he had some help from the other Concretins. The editor’s choice goes to… stolen hamburger buns. What can I say? I like the futility of a love letter spelled out with stolen bread combined with the absurdness of an illogical mom. Truth be told, Outhouse was my second favorite. Must be the love stories. Congratulations to our winners and thanks to Weirdo Skateboards fro graciously providing the schwag.

Born Ugly #8 is out. More of the same quality stuff you’ve come to expect. There’s an nterview with Washington DC skater/photog Shaun Gregoire, an interview Rob Lee from with Richmond Virginia (no it’s not the Dukes of Hazard car…) and a feature on the Kingshighway DIY spot in Saint Louis. My favorite thing in this issue is the graphic (seen above, without the Super 8 MOtel logo) that you can photocopy (or download) for use as a t-shirt design for your own DIY spot fundraiser. The C.R.E.T.E. (Clandestine Revitalization and Enhancement of Transitionless Environments) design comes with excellent instructions, 2A being the best; If you know how to screenprint already then why are you reading this? Just go do it. It just so happens that Sauce zine has already made some, so you can get yours if you want to help as yet unnamed Porltand DIY spots.

Grimace hasn’t been around much lately. I figured he’d been put out to pasture, but a source on Wikipedia says he semi-recently appeared in a 2009 commercial. Grimace originally appeared as an evil villain, now he’s just another old man on an old school board. Grimace may say 80’s but the copyright says 1992. It’s got one of those friction flywheels in there. It’s actually pretty well built for a fast food giveaway.

Ehren Bienert is a sculptor who used to work for McFarlane Toys. He’s also a skater, and for the past three years or so he’s been sculpting some skateboarding personalities. His work is pretty amazing. He even makes the boards himself. He sculpts them in wax first, and makes a mold for a plastic resin cast. Check out Sculpt or Die. – Thanks to Heath Berg for the tip.

He’s got a potbelly for a mouth. Yeah, my old man’s a fatso, but you know he owns this house! The Angry Samoans rule, and so does having your own backyard bowl. When it rains, use a tarp, like Matt does in Grant’s Pass, Oregon. Kudos to punkerbean666 for reaching into the vault and choosing the earlier demo version of this song, it shows depth. – Via Larry Martin on Facebook.

David Carrasco was trolling Skate and Annoy and came across a photo of model of the Pepsi team van. Turns out that figure on the sode of the van is a shot of him taken from a 1977 photo that appeared in an old magazine called Wild World of Skateboarding. David is still skating with his brothers Richy and Rene over at Sk8kings.

I got tons of tips on Skateistan, and I’ve covered it before, going back to 2008. I ended up watching this latest video anyway, and guess what? It’s still pretty compelling. Oddly enough, the video is funded in part by Diesel. There’s a Benetton joke in there somewhere. – Thanks to… everyone who sent this in.

The good, the rad, and the colorful showed up for Burnside’s 20th anniversary; a skate event that accepts all types. Sometimes there is too much testosterone flowing in a session. This was not the case at the Hallowenis event. I witnessed many bare-chested men with erect nipples; a clear sign of arousal. Be it skateboarding or bare-chestedness, both were out in full force at this yearly tribute to diversity and alternative lifestyles. Here’s a bit of what I saw.

People keep trying to innovate trucks these days, but you rarely see anything that makes the accompanying wackiness worthwhile. These Alpha Skateboard Tucks are pretty standard fare for the most part. The big marketing point is the screws on the side that you can use to set a maximum tilt point in order to prevent wheelbite. That’s all well and good, maybe it works, but honestly, wheelbite isn’t a big deal, is it? They do love to go on and on about geometry and stability. They have an interesting theory about riding a low truck with extra risers being a better option for those that prefer high truck. The one thing they have innovated that stands out is the placement of the mounting holes. It’s such a simple idea I can’t believe nobody has done it. Instead of leaving the new school mounting pattern offset towards kingpins, they center them in the standard footprint of the baseplate. Of course, this makes the wheelbase of any given board shorter than the same board with standard trucks. The upside is a potentially stronger baseplate and lighter too, if you cut off the corners. So… it’s interesting at least. They’ve also got a…