I don’t know which former powerhouse brand has fallen further from grace. Nash, Variflex, Vision or now Kryptonics. If this concept had come from World Industries in the 90’s I would have praised it as the pinnacle of satire. Instead, the aptly named Skater in a Box is toy store/sporting goods fodder without irony. Still, I might need to get one of these:
Skateboarding is an image; no one wants to be or look like a poser. That’s why the Kryptonics Skater In a Box has everything you need to fit the part of a real skateboarder… …Add in your Kryptonics skull beanie, chain wallet, and wristband and you’ll have everything you need to hit the skatepark or the streets.
The board graphic is quite clever, actually. All of these items can be yours for about 60 bucks, so you know the quality is not an issue.
16 comments
Bevilacqua
Kryptonics is dead.
Long live old wheels.
Tim
Maybe there is irony….maybe this was both joke and marketing ploy…..sigh….look at me trying to be optimistic. Hey, I think I had better quickly come out with “Old man skater in a box”. If I wasn’t so tired I would add what would be in that box….I’ll leave it to the next commenter.
Keith
At least you get abec 5’s LOL
septik kilt
it says its 9 ply !
gnarly.
LP
click on the link and read the reviews…the first one is hilarious.
freakbeatfuzz
They used some of the shitty new All-Stars to make that graphic. They aren’t even all rubber on the soles anymore. The rubber is only on the heel and the ball of the foot. The rest is some sort of weird masonite material. Lame.
bailgun
at least when the kid comes into the shop to have you fix it, he’ll be rocking the sweatband, hat, and chain wallet so nobody will think he’s a poser, right?
kathryn Inouye
oh noooo…then the kid comes into his local shop with Mommy my wheels wont spin, it won’t turn, can you fix it????
heath
The wallet will always be empty
Danimal
Grover needs to get this and sport it at the trifecta this year, that would be mad style
Mac
Yeah, you wouldn’t want to be or look like a poser, so after your cool Aunt Suzie buys you this kit, put on everything for the first day of 5th grade and let everyone at school know that you’re NOT A POSER! “Dude, what’s Kryptonics?” Poor kid.
Well, at least they didn’t put the trucks on backwards… not that it would matter.
jeff
I don’t know how I would have ever made it with my beanie and wristband.
JF
who’s the marketing genius behind this POS? seriously man….
Concretin Nik
How do you get dogshit outta graphics?
Norm
Holy crap that is amazing.
conahan
but I wouldn’t want to crail grab that thing.