Dear Sarasota Flordia,
Please pull your head out of your ass.

I got an email alert about the grand opening of Sarasota’s Payne Park next Saturday. I got excited because my mother in-law lives in Sarasota and so I visit it on a regular basis. The existing skate park is fun, but nothing to write home about, so a little variety would be nice. It turns out that Sarasota isn’t getting another skatepark, it’s just phase two of the surrounding park facilities, which includes amphitheater, more tennis courts, a walking path (Whee!) and a “skateboard clubhouse,” whatever that means. Then I read that the skatepark fees would be waived for the day of the opening festivities and I really got mad. Sarasota has one of the highest concentrations of wealth in the southeastern US, but you have to pay to skate at that park. The land for the park? Donated outright. The construction costs? Paid for by a one percent sales tax. Public tennis courts? I think they are free, but for some reason, a facility that can be used kids from all demographics is pay-to-play. Absurd! It’s already annoying that the damn thing isn’t open on holidays or during school hours! I don’t know what the hell this “skateboard clubhouse” is supposed to be, but I’m guessing it’s part of the reason you have to pay to skate. Guess what Mayor Palmer, kids don’t want or need a skateboard clubhouse. It isn’t 1974 and Kristy McNichol isn’t going to show up. Kids (and a lot of adults) just want a place where they can for free without the bullshit of memberships and restrictive time constraints. Free skateparks open dawn to dusk? The rest of the country seems to be catching on, why not Sarasota? To top it off, it turns out they closed the entire skatepark for the month of August so they could build the rest of the park. That’s third of the time in the year when the park is open for semi-reasonable hours. Way to go geniuses. You can’t possibly even pretend to have the best interests of the Sarasota youth in mind.