More useless odds and ends. These guys in Massachusetts do touchy-feely performance art called “Zend” on skateboards inspired by stained glass. And speaking of hippies, the Seattle Times wants you to believe that longboarders have a higher calling. Ryan Sheckler gets nominated for a world wide sportmanship award in the action sports category, but loses to Shaun White. I guess there was no category for crying. An interesting note, a guy with the actual name of “Dick Pound” won the “Spirit of Sport” award for his work with the World Anti-Doping Agency. Sounds like spirit alright. According to the North County Times, Andy Macdonald is not a rebel, and he does have a cause. Do you need money? Why not fake getting hit by a car on your skateboard so your buddies can steal a purse while the driver makes sure you are OK? These kids in Vancouver, Washington did. What’s the next Xtreme!™ sport raging in Orange County? Racing Dodge Chargers on electric skateboards. The article “Not Just Any Old Token” does not refer to Dave Chappelle’s race, even if he is the only non-honky in the photo. Some skateboarders in Queens, New York found some humane remains and called 911, further laying to rest the teenage satanic skateboard worshipers theory. Some people don’t need to read a study to know that hurting yourself skateboarding can cost a lot of money, but some do.

There. I’ve wasted enough of my time, so go waste some of yours.

[Assorted tips – Mark Ward, Mike Estes, Poor Richard]

Unbeatable Banzuke is a physical obstacle course Japanese game show (Kinniku Banzuke) that airs in reruns on the G4 network in the US. Apparently the original show was cancelled in 2002 after two contestants suffered serious spinal cord (OK, cervical vertebrae) injuries. The “Skeboarder” episode features a skateboard obstacle course that looks like Grover’s wet dream. An enterprising individual has captured some of it in the time honored fashion of pointing a video camera at the TV. Check it out after the jump. G4’s site has some footage but they don’t do anything to make it easy for you to find out when a particular episode will be on. “TV that’s plugged in?” Hardly. The course looks really fun, actually. One of the contestants has his occupation listed as “Skateboard Salesman.” I wonder if he goes door to door. – Thanks to Rich for the tip.

CNN has a video piece on helmet safety and skateboarding. It’s the usual not very-in-depth filler complete with a couple who lost their son to a head injury to pull on your heartstrings. What’s not clear is what the kid was doing, from the limited amount of information they give. I think he was possibly just traveling from point A to B as his family walked behind him, but speculation is pointless and the tragedy is not diminished. However, the couple and CNN’s tone seem to be implying that video game characters and magazine pictures should all be wearing helmets too. I mean really? Is that how much baby sitting we need now as a society? Are seatbelts going to be mandatory in driving video games as well? What about games where you battle the undead or perform similar unrealistic maneuvers? It’s the same kind of asinine mentality that places those disclaimers on the bottom of TV commercials that say “Professional drivers on a closed circuit, do not attempt” or “Exaggerated driving conditions. Not a performance claim.” Really? I can’t drive up the side of building in my Geo Metro? I shouldn’t base jump off the Sears Tower in search of a radical tasting snack? I shouldn’t attempt to crooked grind down a 50 step stair set without a helmet? Yes, kids should wear helmets. Yes, people should take responsibility for their own actions. NO, they don’t need to be shielded from any stimulus where people are doing anything other than sitting in a padded room, safe from all risk. They even drag Tony Hawk into the fray. Is this a U.S. only phenomenon? Do other countries want to hold their citizen’s hands through life as well? Watch the video on CNN.

– Thanks to Brian Baade for the tip.

Here’s what the ad in the March Transworld Business says:

From the undisputed leader… The X Games™ creators of the most high profile action sports competition on the planet, has teamed up with NSS™ to introduce a line of footwear truly worthy of a podium sweep.

If the quality of the X Games skateboards are anything to judge by, you can be sure these shoes will be top notch. You can get a closer look at the 14, X-F1 and Allyoop after the jump. Push for gold!

I tried to stoke House Of Neil to write this one, since it falls in his area of expertise, but he’s not typing another word until he gets eBay Watch stickers and T-shirts. In the late 80’s and early 90’s there was a group of tag team wrestlers called the Dynamic Dudes. The Dynamic Dudes wore a lot of neon, made the hang loose hand sign and carried skateboards as props. Progressive Boink voted them the 9th Gayest Tag Team in their top 20 Gayest. I don’t think PB was taking into account the Lucha Libra Exoticos. Of the two guys in the team, the only one anyone seems to care about anymore is Shane Douglas. We’ve got a few pics as well as an incredibly blurry video of the Dynamic Dudes picking out skateboards at a skateshop after the jump.

[Source: Relient K]

Is this from a new TV show? Some sort of celebrity scandal? Is he the real father of Jamie Lynn Spears’ baby? Has he converted to Scientology? Are those pearl earrings he’s wearing? What new product is he shilling? Enquiring minds want to know, and you won’t be disappointed.

[Source: auggiedawg on Sleestak]

Apparently the anguished cries of old men everywhere resonated in the halls of ESPN. EXPN.com reports:

ESPN has decided to continue its 13-year tradition of vert competitions at this year’s X Games. Over the past month ESPN has engaged in many conversations with the X Games BMX and Skateboard vert athletes in an attempt to transition the Vert discipline into one featuring a skatepark course design. While many athletes were initially receptive to the idea, the majority of them have indicated to ESPN that they would prefer to compete on a halfpipe.

So vert skating is back from the dead. Who could have predicted it? I think it’s funny that the athletes were the ones the brought it back. More telling is the fact that they plan to go forward with the Superpark concept in addition. I have a feeling that the vert riders who don’t decide to enter Superpark are going to lose ultimately. I see this as a temporary appeasement of the talent so they don’t have a mass boycott of riders. Sure, they’ll bring back vert for one or two more seasons while they quietly build up Superpark until ratings prove they don’t need vert anymore, because there will be a whole other gorup of riders who won’t complain about the format change. Superpark sounds more fun to watch in my opinion anyway. Ha! Check out the photo credit on the image in the source. (They are rotating them.)

– Thanks to CretinNik for the tip.

So yeah, doing the family vacation thing. Mother in-law brought us to an “incredible new restaurant” that turned out to be a newer chain of sports bars. I counted at least 33 flat screen TV’s with assorted sports programs on, one of them was playing Fuel, so that means I got to watch skateboarding in a sports bar. It was an episode of Driven, and there was hardly any skateboarding in it. For some reason there was a big production about a kid giving Vallely a bracelet of sorts. Not very manly behavior for a sports bar. I swear I heard some snickering. Maybe the kid had a terminal disease, it’s hard to tell because there was no sound. Looks like they gave him a Jeep, though. So yeah, manly sports bars and skateboarding. Alright.

A VH1 blog for the show Best Week Ever has a list of the top 10 professions that are one death away from extinction. Meaning if the most famous guy dies, nobody will take his place. Coming in at number one, Skateboarding and Tony Hawk. They are actually aware of other pro skaters, but their rationale is that… who cares. But, maybe they are on to something. Perhaps the almost dead profession should have been Vert Skater since I keep getting tips relating to vert skating and BMX being dropped from the X games. Also being dropped? the VH1 show Best Week Ever, unless they get picked up by ESPN.

The rumors are flying, and the official word is that “changes are coming.” I doubt the loss of vert in the X-Games mean much of anything to skateboarders, besides the ones competing. It might have more of an impact on Madison Avenue than anywhere else. Commercials and cartoons will have lost their point of reference for portraying skateboarding.

– Thanks to Concretins for the first tip.

No that’s not a still from the first Bones brigade video, it’s 20 years later and Lance is hitting that spot for Elwood clothing’s 1st and Hope video, which came out some time last year I believe. Has anyone seen this? It looked like a good concept for a video, instead of the usual scattergun barrage of tricks planned and practiced and over and over to make it for the video (shot on 16mm film), it features a group of friends skating together in various spots, meeting people along the way. There are a few old distinguished names in there like Eric Dressen, Lance Mountain, Matt Hensley, Ray Barbee and Salman Agah. EXPN has a nice write up with more background and some production stills. So yeah, this is old news by a year.

The second hope is Athletes for Hope, which is an organization of some of the more famous names in sports whose purpose is to “educate, encourage and assist athletes in their efforts to contribute to community and charitable causes, to increase public awareness of those efforts, and to inspire others to do the same.” Basically, it’s a bunch of famous athletes trying to get other professional athletes to pull their heads out of their self-centered asses and help out the less fortunate. That’s an admirable goal. Skateboarding’s most famous philanthropist Tony Hawk is one of the founding members, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was involved in Oprah’s Big Give charity/reality show. The trailer shows a brief glimpse of someone spinning a McTwist on a vert ramp. Actually, that’s just a guess since you don’t get to see the full rotation.