Snow Day

It doesn’t snow very often in Portland Oregon. When it does, it rarely sticks on the ground or amounts to much of anything. When we get a snow day we like to maximize it by calling in to work “Oh.. it’s too slippery. I can’t possibly make it in to work today” and then piling into the car with your friends and some beer for a drive out to the skate park. There were a handful of snowboarders dicking around, but we were there to skate. The complete odyssey after the jump.

A couple of guys climbed into the bowl at Pier Park so we could throw snowballs at them. Actually, the plan was to try and skate. When we got there, we realized we forgot to bring a skateboard, at least one that had trucks and wheels, so we went over to our friend Wes’ house to get one. Man, some people can be a little cranky when they work the graveyard shift and their drunk friends show up at the equivalent of 3 in the morning. Wes tried to ignore us in hopes that we would go away, but we had the house surrounded and the dog barking so he gave in. Wes’ girlfriend, who was also a night-shifter, was visibly absent from welcoming us in the house. We imagined the conversation went something like this “Wes! Get the damn door! Those are your friends!” Realizing that resistance was futile in face of alcohol, Wes grudgingly gave us a board so we would split. At the park we started falling all over the place. Dreamland concrete is smooth like butter, and even more so when covered in snow. MC gave it the old college try but packed it in after wilsoning at around the 4:30 mark. It didn’t help that Shawn and MC had been taunting a little kid who kept trying to pelt them with snowballs.

Mark in the pipe.

Winter days require either chicken soup or cold beer. We made our choice, which is why the snowboarders at the park thought Grover might have been mentally “special.”

This is Josh. His friends were having to go through a lot of effort to tow him down the incline for a quick hit or or two. It was a very laborious process. This looked like a good skull splitter. He ate it a couple times but eventually pulled it off.

This was the most exciting part of this unknown kid’s run.

We borrowed the tow rope from the boarders to pull Shawn and MC out of the pipe, all the while the little kid kept throwing snowballs at them. The rope slipped out of Shawn’s hands once and Grover almost fell backwards into the deep end. That would have been ugly. When Shawn finally got out he chased down that little kid, picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. His intentions were to throw him down the mouse hole into the pipe. The kid got away by stuffing a handful of snow into Shawn’s face and knocking his glasses off. “Oh,oh. Is that bad?” he was heard to say. Shawn gave him a (gentle) body slam and the kid ran off with one of Grover’s skitching skateboards. So, if anyone finds a beat up mid 80’s Mike Smith Madrid board with rails… keep it cause it’s absolutely worthless. Here’s that kid Josh again, pulling up with all his might to clear the stairs. “A” for effort.

We left the park with a roman chariot skitch race. MC and Grover were on tow ropes behind my car, standing on beat up old decks with no trucks… The theory was better than the actual end result. They couldn’t stay on longer than a handful of car lengths, and then only by keeping their center of gravity about a foot above the grip tape. I didn’t get pictures (Hello, driving!) but shawn was on the tailgate with the video camera. I’m sure it’ll end up in someone’s Video Korner. It was amusing for a couple of minutes at least.When we finally made it back to home base, we our wives had been doing pretty much the same thing with our respective offspring, minus the alcohol and skateboards of course. Let that be your lesson. You’re never to old (or stupid) to have an extreme dork session.

Lastly, I leave you with this picture of the return of Lil’ Pimp. Who is Lil’ Pimp? Why, the renown street artist, of course. What does Lil’ Pimp like? Click here to find out.