I am
My favorite place to skate is
A backyard pool
A handrail
A 20 Stair drop
A vert ramp on TV
A tennis court
A launch ramp and a couch
A series of downhill s-curves
A snow covered hill
Pick a greatest hits CD for your road trip
Method Man
Monk, Thelonious
Might Mighty Bosstones
Marley, Bob
I live in:
A condo in Orange County
A couch in Sacramento
A closet in New York
A car in Portland
I plan on retiring so I can:
Open a private skateboarding facility with a 24-7 web-cam and a forum
Have more one man shows with my found object art
Join a semi-pro sports team and/or washed up hardcore band
Make beatz and and/or rap
Start my own skateboard company
Get a reality TV Show
Go surfing
Get drunk
I prefer a skateboard that is:
Made in the USA
Made in Mexico by a highly trained staff
Made in China, but I swear it's more high tech than anything we can make in the states.
Made by one of the many transient brands that my parent company pretends is independent.
Made by myself out of stuff I garbage pick
Who has time to skateboard?
My favorite skate video is:
Animal Chin- Powell Peralta
Cheese & Crackers - Almost
Yeah Right - Girl
Video Days - Blind
Shackle Me Not - H Street
Splendid Eye Candy - Blockhead
Questionable - Plan B
The End- Birdhouse
Fully Flaired - Lakai
What's a skate video?
My Favorite skateboard magazine is:
The Skateboard Mag
Low Card
US Weekly
They still actually print skateboard magazines?
At an intense session I like to drink:
Rockstar or Monster energy drink bro!
A select variety of juiced vegetables
My trucks are:
Indy 149's
Indy 215's
Thunder's from 1986 with a skull or a lizard on the baseplate
Drop through Randals
Tracker Ultralights
Machined magnesium with a titanium axle
The most influential trick in skateboarding is:
Frontside ollie by Allan Gelfand
Flatland ollie by Rodney Mullen
Frontside Indy Air by Activison
Musical instrument I am most adept at:
Irish flute
My next video part will be filmed on:
Canon EOS-1D X
Red One at 120fps
VHS, no too trendy, Betamax!
Screen capture from Tony Hawk's Pro Skater on X Box
My next video part will be released on:
Vimeo by an independent film maker
An exclusive on the web site of a skateboard media outlet
Youtube by my beverage sponsor
Facebook by my clothing sponsor
ESPN as a commercial during Street League by my shoe sponsor
DVD given away by my board sponsor
DVD given away by my Church sponsor
Google + by my NA sponsor
Dashboard camera by my arresting officer
My favorite skate zine is
Swank Zine
One that I made myself
A fake one by my sponsors designed to promote a DIY aesthetic
What's a skate zine? (Will also accept Skate and Annoy)
Mac or PC
Beep bloop bleep!
The following have ruined skateboarding:
The Internet
Video games
The X-Games
Skateboard documentaries
Popsicle stick-shaped skateboards
Scooters & Rollerblades
Transition oriented skateparks
Street plazas
The worst trend in skateboarding was:
Baggy pants
Bearing cover-sized wheels
Rap/skateboarding crossover
Girl jeans
Grip tape art
Biker Sherlock
My favorite artist is:
Howard Finster
Howard Stern
Hieronymus Bosch
Brad Dorfman
My first sponsor was
A local mom and pop skateshop
My parents or older brother
The kid I stole a skateboard from
Flow team for a regional company
A shoe company that no longer exists
An energy drink that no longer exists
A youth ministry
Skateboarding needs more:
Varied coverage in the magazines
Street plazas
Punk Rock
Skateboards with a discernible nose and tail
Parental involvement
Training facilities
Skater owned companies
Shoe companies
Youth ministries
Stacy Peralta film projects
Grip tape
Skateboarding needs less:
Stereotypical appearances in TV commercials
Transition in skateparks
Integration with Extreme Sports spectacles
Street plazas
Artsy-fartsy bullshit
Hip Hop
Street plazas
The publics perception of skateboarding is largely tainted by:
A faulty belief that skateboards are inherently dangerous
A faulty belief that skateboarding attracts vandalism and drug usage
A history of association with fads and children's toys
A history of association with Brad Dorfman
Poorly edited websites with lots of typoss, a grammatical errors and reposted content
Exploitation by ad agencies and media conglomerates
Lack of presence in the Olympics
Animal Chin
Street plazas
Fred Durst
When I miss a trick for the 3rd time:
I get up and try it again, only faster
I analyze the move in my head and use my understanding of physics to adjust my technique
I say a quiet, reflective prayer to Jesus.
I smash my board and curse as loudly as possible, so everyone will look at me and see how cool I am.
I blame my sponsors for using me as a pawn in their game
I grab another beer.
When I miss a trick for the 10th time:
I ask my filmer to rewind the last 30 seconds so I can see what I'm doing wrong
I loosen my trucks
I tighten my trucks
I say a quiet, reflective prayer to Buddha.
I turn up the Buddah Records compilation on my iPod
I grab a marker and make a doodle surrounding the blood stain I left on the cement
I start my own skateboard company that will finally allow me to rule my own destiny, or at least until my former sponsor wants me back
In general, I believe females:
Deserve more coverage, equal pay and more opportunities in professional skateboarding
Are not suited for professional skateboarding because scabs are unattractive.
Are best suited for divorcing or signing prenuptial agreements
Are really impressed by my tattoos.
Love that I can afford to have Iggy Pop perform at our wedding reception
Are not turned off when I appear nationwide on movie screens getting kicked in the nuts or eating disgusting things.
My first skateboard model:
Is now worth thousands on Ebay.
Was the same on everyone else's on the team, but in my own color scheme
Was appropriated from copyrighted material owned by a massive corporation
Was used for someone else after I quit the team
Had more money bumps than concave
Was made of oak and was only 7" wide
Was made of birch and was only 5" wide
I feel that contests are:
A valid way of measuring the legitimacy of a professionals skills
Unfairly judged popularity contests
A necessary evil
Inadequately able to score difficult lip tricks accurately
A great time to hone my graffiti skills on the obstacles
A good excuse to put skateboarding on TV and show commercials
After skateboarding I hope to:
Enjoy quiet time with my family
Work in my ministry, spreading the word of God
Work in the industry
Still be able to walk up the stairs to my rented apartment
Get a job as a skateboard commentator on a cable TV
Finally receive the royalties Brad Dorfman owes me
Finally stop being used as a pawn by the skateboarding industry
Enjoy skateboarding just for fun
The following saved my life:
Quiting drugs and alcohol
Accepting Jesus Christ into my life
My acting career
Loud pipes
Being used as a pawn by the skateboarding industry
Quitting skateboarding
Non skateboarding product I am most likely to endorse:
Electronic or audio equipment
Food or other consumable
Non profit environmental group or human rights association
My acting career
Being used as a pawn by the skateboarding industry
Playground equipment manufacturer with a history of sub par and often dangerous skatepark designs
Extreme Pogo Stick
Biggest regret I will have in my career:
Not taking the fatherly advice of Stacy Peralta
Not landing a 900 on the megaramp
Quitting my sponsor to start a new company with money from selling my equipment allowances and per diem while on tour
Signing with shoe company that folded after 6 months
My acting career
Being used as a pawn by the skateboarding industry
Being a professional skateboarder
Brad Dorfman:
Street Plazas
The Interwebs
Sky Hooks
Mountain Dew
Sponsor me, I love your company, or send me some free stuff so I can represent.
Send me free stickers
Free Jay Adams
Have you answered all the questions?