Screaming Lord Jalba


Glamour, France thinks Jessica Alba is a fashion icon and a cool girl. I think she looks uncomfortable posing with that skateboard. Somehow they managed to make sex symbol look awkward in most of the photos. I wonder if it’s because she did pushups, a la Salba before the photo shoot. Update: Photo recycled in US Weekly a year later.

[Source: Visual Optimism] MC found it, but he’ll blame one of his daughters.




UPDATE: They recycled this pic in the June 2, 2014 issue of Us Weekly. Thanks to Hung Chang for the tip.



  1. What, because that skateboard is a longboard and her cousins don’t play that? She’s SUPPOSED to look like she wants to be “over there” instead… it’s the look! Which, granted, works better when the “over there” is the camera/viewer, or should (at least if she was selling herSelf)… but, the “fiercely bored”, sideways look supposedly somehow sells product… though in reality maybe only cuz of its longtime kneejerk association with product. And, by the way, shouldn’t it be labeled Friday B&L or something? Speakin of which, I really miss the not TOO long departed “belly girl” era of skating… when it seemed like there were more girls skating, and definitely more girls with bared midriffs skating. It didn’t even feel creepy staring at bellies… especially because they were so purposefully displayed that it seemed like it woulda been criminal not to appreciate it.

  2. spurr on July 6, 2013 - Reply

    Skin is in , and I thought my posts were whacky.!

  3. ….should have had her holding her cuz’s board instead.

  4. Grover on July 7, 2013 - Reply

    Uncomfortable not sure? Out of place all over the map yes. Nothing good in the photos except the person. No quality in the clothes or equipment. The skin is good.

    • Cmon Groover, you’re not feelin the Soldier of Boredom in a non-war Theater vibe of the top photo? What’s all over the place about that?(!) But cmon, the only cheese-out-of-water one is the bottom.

      • I finally see Randy’s myopic point, though… in the smaller version of the walking photo, in which you can’t really make out her expression, the attitude of her neck makes her head look like it is hunkering with embarrassment. Pretty funny.

  5. frankenstein's bride on July 8, 2013 - Reply

    kant sk8 in dem shoes.

  6. wall eyed glue huffer on July 8, 2013 - Reply

    fashion mags=fashion suggestions=no on wears that shit and the model looks dumb as result…on a side note i was dreaming that i was fucking jessica, the next day in the news they said that……………………………………………………….

  7. juggalo picnic on July 8, 2013 - Reply

    that longboard is totally Do-able!

  8. Is she really related to the famed malba and salba? I’d show her a full pipe haha

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