What does it take to be a Pro Skater?

Pro Skaters

My kid got this Pro Skaters action figure for X-mas from an unaffiliated third party – a non-relative, non-skateboarder. “Rodney Stone” has magnets on his feet, and is supposed to be the most articulated Exteme!™ action figure. I don’t have a lot of Exteme!™ action figures to compare him to, but the others must be really stiff since most of Rodney’s articulation is concentrated on the way his feet rotate in circles around his ankle joints. Rodney couldn’t bend over to pick up his board if his little plastic life depended on it. Check him out, he’s on the “Vert Team” according to his jump ramp. He’s also a fan of big air.

Pro Skaters action figure

Here’s Rodney looking about as articulated as he can get. He’s still rocking the fingerless gloves that must be NOS from the 80’s.

Pro Skaters action figure

Seriously, who is Rodney Stone? There are plenty of pros I haven’t heard about, and nowadays pros are a dime a dozen. People often complain that a lot of the so-called pros don’t deserve pro status, but I think this guy might be the first “pro” to ever be a figment of someone’s imagination. Wait, wait, not true. There are at least two other fake pros with skateboard models I can think of, which is today’s trivia question. Can you name them?
Pro Skaters action figure

I’m not exactly sure what the dust buster accessory is for. Sweeping off the ramp?
Pro Skaters action figure

Apparently, the flat picture of a grind rail qualifies as a “skate park piece” that you are supposed somehow actively use.
Pro Skaters action figure

Ah, Rodney’s stat sheet. I see he’s sponsored by… the brand of toy that makes his action figure.
Pro Skaters action figure

The dust buster attaches magnetically to his back, but is not strong enough to hold him by.
Pro Skaters action figure

Bitchin simulated Blind graphics. In the attempt to make Rodney Stone the most articulated Extreme!™ action figure, something had to give, namely all articulation on the skateboard. Gaze on the glorious single piece molded trucks and non-spinning wheels.
Pro Skaters action figure

I tried to make it look like a frontside rock, but his feet would only stay attached in this position.
Pro Skaters action figure

I obviously was enjoying this photo session too much.
Pro Skaters action figure

Errrr…. WTF?
Pro Skaters action figure

21 Comments

  1. A pro skater action figure?

    Even I can’t enjoy that.

  2. Tim Widmer on December 27, 2007 - Reply

    Seriously freaking funny stuff. Great life like photos, it is amazing what a good camera and some creativity can produce.

  3. Taking those types of pictures in public will certainly get you some weird looks, maybe even a stink eye or two… Kilwag, I still owe you an LT video… soon, sir, soon.

  4. Fer chrissakes, let the kid play with his toys. They didn’t get it for you.

  5. houseofneil on December 27, 2007 - Reply

    does Rowdy Roddy Piper know that this guy has stolen his nickname? There’s only one Hot Rod, and this ain’t it. My Rowdy Roddy Piper action figure can kick this guys ass.

  6. JAKEANDANNOY on December 27, 2007 - Reply

    Really? “Rodney Stone”? I cant beleive that name is real, his parents couldn’t have done better than to give the poor bastard a name that doesnt spell out a future of homosexual strip tease? His shorts look like bellbottom cut-offs or something & WTF is he impaled with a dustbuster???

  7. corncobcock on December 27, 2007 - Reply

    this is not a real skateboarder…signed, Carabeth Bumslide

  8. That board is just gigantic! Imagine having a board that is easily wider than you and up to your shoulders…. Oh ya.. frat boys

  9. magnets on his feet, like steve bacon? rodney stone is my porn pseudonym.

  10. This is got to be the funniest thing I have seen you run. Now where can we all get a ProSkaters tee shirt?

  11. I bet Randy’s boy hits puberty early from playing with all those “harmone” changing plastics. BPA’s and other toxins are over that crap. AVOID CHINA PEOPLE! Buy US made if at all possible.

  12. houseofneil on December 28, 2007 - Reply

    Avoid people made of China?

  13. dont eat the paint, kiddo.

  14. Avoid people made of China? Comprehension isn’t your strongest.

  15. I think houseofneil is implying that punctuation and grammar aren’t your strong points!

  16. JAKEANDANNOY on December 28, 2007 - Reply

    Sounds like fightin’ words to me….

  17. China is on the other side of the planet… I should have no problem avoiding it…

  18. Action Figure? It seems to me that due to the location of a particular articulation point that old Rodney is missing his ‘Rodney’, and therefore not likely to ever see any “action”…

  19. As lame as those Pro Skater dolls and Huck Dolls are, they’re good teaching tools for beginning skaters and snowboarders. Plus, you know you would have wanted one of those when you were little!

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