Satanic cult worship and vague, general feeling of being “out of touch” concerns local police.

Satanic cult worship concerns local police

At the urging of Old Man Army, Recent Skate and Annoy conscript Elder Skelter (long first time reader, first time caller) sent us this newspaper article scanned from the November 12, 1987 issue of the Valley Times. Things must have been pretty uptight in Geauga county Ohio for the authorities to get that bent out of shape over some innocuous graffiti. Talk about out of the loop! Reminds me of the scene in Rock ‘n’ Roll High School where Mr McGee asks “Who are these Ram Ones?” You can read the very funny (in a sad way) article and see the half-hearted correction they printed the next issue after the jump.

Geauga county Ohio? Who were the culprits? Geauga county includes the town of Chardon, which is home to a certain cult figure named Danny who has dabbled in skateboard worship via Factory 13 Experimental Skateboards. Coincidence? It was 20 years ago, so I guess we’ll never know. The newspaper article is very amusing, detailing that the graffiti might be a symbol calling a meeting for a coven. They get into the obvious Heavy Metal and the occult imagery connections as well. It’s a good thing times have changed, cause I can’t imagine how the press of yesteryear would have responded to the bands and skateboard companies out there today. At least it’s good to know that was so long ago and it could never happen again… Oops! This is classic stuff. Click the image below to enlarge the article.

Satanic cult worship concerns local police

So they had some more worldly readers tip them off that “Bones” was skateboard related. Instead of just owning up and saying they goofed, they go on about other satanic activity in the area, and mumble weakly about the blurring of the line between good and bad.

Satanic cult worship concerns local police

I couldn’t find a YouTube clip or memorable quote site with the “Who are these Ram Ones?” line on it (did I imagine it?) so instead you can watch this 1980 appearance of the Ramones on Australian TV show called Countdown. Watch them lip sync “Rock and Roll high School”, the host call them the Marones, and listen to Joey’s barely audible responses in the interview. Good stuff. Also, some of the local bands that they mention sound interesting as well. Must not have made it big though. In the 80’s friends of mine allegedly spray painted “Ramones” on a utility shed in a field at their high school in big block letters. To make it legible from the school they made the letters big, and split “Ramones” into two lines, “RAM” right on top of “ONES.” Apparently, the principal even announced it over the intercom, asking for anyone with knowledge of those responsible for painting “Ram Ones” on the wall to come forward. It would have been hard not to laugh out loud at that one.



  1. This is the best post of 2007 so far! We should have an award BBQ on the first day of the Oregon Trifecta for shits and giggles.

    The S&A’s
    The Poster- Best Writing and Stories of 2007
    The Grover – Best Video Clip
    The Kilwag – Best Photo
    The MC – An award for the skater who goes above and below the call of “doodie” to skate- AKA “The Poopie”
    The Estes’ – The Ultimate Has- Been Award
    The Smay – The Core Award- Music, Skate and Build Vert Ramp Award.
    The Thor – The Blue Collar Skater Award

  2. I told the dude you guys would like this… (heh)
    “Ram Ones”… that’s what really makes this post funny.

  3. Send my regards to Danny Borenstein- a great skater- his mother is an evil Satanic witch , her name is horrible Helen. Keep skating Danny Dude- you need a break from your mad momma (LOL)

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