Plastic Skateboards, Underpants And Scooters

FU boards teaser

As you may recall, there was just too much to make fun of in one single post, so I bring you part two of the FU Boards saga. Aside from marketing plastic skateboards, somebody apparently did a little market research because some of the their tactics are incredibly on the mark.

It’s like a scene out of a B Movie where clueless corporate execs try and figure out how to market a new wonder product.

We gotta figure out how to sell this junk to kids. What are kids into these days? Some kid ran into me just yesterday and told me off! Hey! We can make skateboards out of this! But how do we sell them? Kids these days like the sexy broads and a snotty attitude. Let’s call the company Screw You Skateboards! Wait, we can’t call it that. How about FU? That way the kids will know what it means, and their mothers will still pay for them. We’ll hire a guy to draw a log of someone flipping the bird, photograph some girls in their underwear, and get some kids to pose for photos. That’s pure genius Johnson! We’ll make millions!


The amazing thing is, they kind of get it right a couple of times, like on the co-opted United Way logo. Unfortunately, it’s super small on the web site and you can’t really see it. Same goes for the sticker logo with the hand sign featuring the bizarro “F”. It’s as if they have some kid in a room somewhere who was an obvious fan of early World Industry and Big Brother days, but he’s either not completely in charge or he graduated from a junior college and can’t quite follow through. They also make a wall hook for skateboards and “folding scooters”, so they haven’t quite tapped into the minds of young skaters.


Hey, who let the guy in the black shirt (above) out of juvey? Did I mention these are plastic skateboards? Actually some sort of fiberglass and plastic compound. They are supposed to last 25% longer than wooden boards while being impervious to rain. They sell the blanks for $45 a pop. They have a glow in the dark board in the works as well. I’m going to see if we can get a board to review, but I’ll have to wait until this post gets bumped from the front page.



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